Fidel Castro Should Write Bible Fiction - Like, that one movie starring Tom Hanks, he could totally have written that..

Turned onto this by Gawker today:

In his latest "Reflections of Fidel", the bed-ridden commie lion sips his cigar and muses about Rahm Emmanuel...sort of...

"WHAT a strange surname! It appears Spanish, easy to pronounce, but it’s not. Never in my life have I heard or read about any student or compatriot with that name, among tens of thousands.

Where does it come from? I wondered. Over and over, the name came to mind of the brilliant German thinker, Immanuel Kant, who together with Aristotle and Plato, formed a trio of philosophers that have most influenced human thinking. Doubtless he was not very far, as I discovered later, from the philosophy of the man closest to the current president of the United States, Barack Obama.

Another recent possibility led me to reflect on the strange surname, the book of Germán Sánchez, the Cuban ambassador in Bolivarian Venezuela: The transparence of Enmanuel, this time without the “I” with which the German philosopher’s name begins."

And it goes on from there. And on. And on. The basic gist is Obama is too late to save America. (This may actually be true.) You should read it so that someday when you're trying to pick up a vegan college girl at the animal rescue farm (which you actually thought SOLD pork, your bad), you can break out some Fidel quotes and she interpret your obvious age as more attractive "wisdom and worldiness".

The funny/sad thing to me is that Fidel stays true to his "no god but the commies" roots, and doesn't address the Jewish, Bible origin of the word once. I mean, he's missing a wealth of youtube worthy jumping there. Imagine the leaps he could take. I'm excited imagining the leaps I could take, and I'm not stuck in bed with no intestines. The very first thing I think of when I hear Rahm Emmanuel is that hymn we used to sing at Christmas, Oh Come Oh Come Emmanuel (and ransom captive Israel). How about a "reflexion" about "captive Israel", and the marauding US interlopers funding their secret cabals? How about some support for Iran, Fidel? Especially given the timing of the 30th anniversary, and all this holla back and forth between the US and Iran right now. It's a missed opportunity to stir the masses! (are there any masses left in Cuba?)

So it's kinda sad Mr. Castro didn't take this as far as he could. I think in his younger days, he could have composed a rant worthy of the weird guy who used to run our Trotsky-ite meetings at CSU.