I think Party of Five meets Facts of Life is more like it.

I got sucked into watching "Life Unexpected" yesterday and now I'm afraid the fetus I miscarried in high school is going to show up on my doorstep demanding that I sign its emancipation papers. How should I proceed when and if that happens?

I totally got sucked into watching that shit too. It's because whoever came up with that "Juno meets Gilmore Girls" line is a fucking genius. Here's how your head processes that line: "This doesn't look like a show I would ever watch in a Million Years, but yet I watch Gilmore Girls reruns every time they're on, because frankly Rory has the cutest clothes ever, and even though I didn't think Juno was the best movie ever and Diablo Cody can kinda of suck it, it was cute enough to watch on a weekday night. SO I'll watch this. Also that lead guy kind of looks like the guy from General Hospital." Genius.

Back to your question. First, I did not realize that girl was actually her miscarriage. I thought they just gave her up for adoption. Knowing she's a dead fetus makes me like the show a whole lot more. I had sorta vowed to never watch it again because Lux is not really a name. However, Lux can totally be the name of a reincarnated miscarried fetus who's potential spirit was cast into the body of an android and sent to the Pacific Northwest as part of a complicated plot to sabotage the American Family.

In light of this, I think the only appropriate response when your fetus shows up would be to pin it to a wall with a nine iron. Because otherwise you hate America.

Here's my question, B: Why are mustaches so creepy? All other forms of facial hair are kinda hot, but seeing a dude with a thick mustache is uber ewe! Even those pencil thin ones, ugh. ~D

I am not a huge fan of facial hair, but I recognize that on some guys, its an improvement. A mustache by itself though is never an improvement. Unless you are Cary Ewes, in which case you should not only flaunt the mustache but also Facebook me and we'll totally go hang out. You're probably not though.

I think it's funny that you put thick mustaches ahead of thin ones in the "EW" category. I think it's far worse to be trying and failing to grow a mustache, than it is to simply have a successful one. I mean, a mustache is bad enough. You don't really need to also show the world you never hit puberty. Also, I associate pencil thin mustaches with villains who are trying to tie people to trains and can't even do that right. Emasculating all around, people.

Mustaches creep people out because they are not in fashion anymore, which means only old and lame people wear them. And nobody wants to have sex with someone who is not only elderly, but can't keep up on style. Which probably also means they are old and poor too. People with money have other people to tell them what's up. It's also possible that they have a fantasy where they are secretly a wrestling hero battling addiction and struggling to let God, joy, and true love into his life. Ew.

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