my girlfriend watches repeats of Law and Order every weekend. Is there something wrong with her?
This is a tricky question, because there are a lot of variables.
For instance, which Law and Order is she watching?
Law and Order: Original Flavor?
Law and Order: Special Victims Unit?
Law and Order: Criminal Intent?
Law and Order: Trial by Jury (just kidding, no one watches that.)
If she watches reruns of the original series, then which cast is she watching? Is she a Chris Noth girl? Benjamin Bratt? Orbach? Does she think Sam Waterson adds more sex appeal to the show? In like, an Abraham Lincoln sort of way? Is she disappointed by the new detectives, who lack Noth's charm and look like they got kicked out of high school for selling dime bags to finance their Halo habit?
Is she such a fan of the original that she would have voted for Fred Thompson even though he is obviously a bad guy?
She might secretly be a Republican. Or boring.
Or is she into Criminal Intent? Because Vincent D'Onofrio was in Full Metal Jacket you know, and it's practically like just watching that movie over and over again, which I'm told is a completely legitimate way to go crazy. Plus Kathryn Erbe is like, the most likable female detective on tv. She's like the green fairy to his madness. Criminal Intent is the most virtuous spin-off.
Finally, if she's really into SVU, she might be a)a lesbian for Hargitay or b)have some unresolved issues you two had better discuss in private.
In conclusion, if your girlfriend would like to come over to my house sometime and debate Mr. Big vs. D'Onofrio, tell her she's welcome anytime and to bring the Sutter Home. And stop judging her. You probably watch Gilmore Girls reruns.
Edit: someone told me last night that Erbe was on OZ playing a death row lesbian? So Criminal Intent WINS.
this was simply made of awesome!
ReplyDeleteI try to be my best!
ReplyDeleteSVU is the best one. I think that because a) I am totally lesbian for Hargitay and b) I was molested by my priest.
ReplyDeleteI'm just kidding about part B. Priests only like boys.
Nope, that wasn't me! Though I do like me some Gilmore Girls reruns.
ReplyDeleteI'll watch any Original Flavor as long as Orbach and Waterston are in it. Except the ones with the blond ADA. I can't STAND her.
ReplyDeleteHave you seen the ads for the upcoming SVU episodes? Sarah Paulson and Naveen Andrews - love them!
(I don't know you and I've never been to Cleveland, but I'm a regular visitor to your site, and you crack me up.)
/praise from a random stranger)
Hey Zannah, Hi!
ReplyDeleteI do like Naveen. A lot.
I could tell her "she's boring" but I could be looking for a new place to live..
ReplyDeleteTell it to her softly, like it makes you hot.
ReplyDeleteThen try and get her addicted to Entourage.
Criminal Intent does win, but more because of Julianne Nicholson than Kathryn Erbe. Wheeler is the best.
ReplyDeleteIt would be disturbing if she were into the Angie Harmon era original L&O. SVU kind of squigs me out, but an Angie Harmon fan is a truly frightening thought.
Kathryn Erbe FTW. No one is hotter on L&O, not even Hargitay anymore. You people who say she's not hot are totally crazy. Also, I'm totally lesbian for Hargitay, too, unless Erbe offers first...only I don't think guys can be lesbians...
ReplyDelete