Many people are going to be in love with you. And you will be in love with many people. But the miraculous moment is when those two things happen at the same time, with the same person. That's what everyone is terrified about messing up, or throwing away, or not having a chance at. Everyone thinks they're fucked if that doesn't happen to them, and they think they're fucked if it goes away.Nothing in the universe only happens once though. It's unnatural, unheard of, and unthinkable. So when *poof* that magic moment happens, you can't lose your head. You can't just go running off into the sunset with the prince. You have to spend some time thinking about how this person correlates with the rest of your life. Do they just complicate it? Or do they put a dead stop to it? There are different levels of love, and how much do you actually love them? Do you love them enough to move to Europe, or do you love them because they want to move to Europe? Do you actually want to love someone enough to sacrifice things for them, or do you want someone who will sacrifice things for you? Sometimes we don't know what we're willing to trade for love in advance, but in the moment we have no excuse for not defining it. Once it's defined, you have to act accordingly.
There is nothing right or wrong you can do about it. There is no big decision you are going to regret for the rest of your life. Life is a string of meaningful events that with the passage of time become balanced and understandable.
Also being alone is kind of awesome if you're not beating yourself up over it all the time. But it does require a large amount of forgiveness for yourself, and courage for the rest of the world. Being alone requires that you be a better person than you would have to be as part of a couple.
Oh, and learn to enjoy web comics.
asofterworld.com
Interesting post, however, I'm not sure I agree with this statement.
ReplyDelete"Being alone requires that you be a better person than you would have to be as part of a couple."
It's easy to be alone with nobody else to consider. When you're in a relationship it requires that you adapt and compromise and really in turn, be that much better of a person for it.
Just thought I'd share my opinion on the matter for sake of argument.
By the way, your frickin' adorable :)
But here's how I'm looking at it Jon. When you're alone, the hardest thing to do is not just jump into anything for the moral, physical, financial support. And sometimes the hardest part of getting out of a relationship is knowing you don't have anyone to call if something goes dreadfully wrong, or dreadfully right. It's really really hard to give up being part of something, even though you know you should.
ReplyDeleteAlso, thanks, yes, I am adorable. So are you.
Ahhaaa! Agreed! That's something I have no sympathy for. When people are in a constant state of miserableness (is that a word?) yet they continue to stay in the relationship for fear of being alone. God knows I've been that person. Yuck! Never again
ReplyDeleteRidiculous I tell ya!
Love this post, Bridget.
ReplyDelete"Sometimes we don't know what we're willing to trade for love in advance, but in the moment we have no excuse for not defining it."
The only excuse I can think of is that you normally can't flippin' think straight. Brain cells fly, *woosh*, right out the window.
Blue, everyone needs more practice killing brain cells on a daily basis. Then they would be more prepared for love.
ReplyDeleteUm, so is your blog title true? Can you be my best friend? Because this is fantastic.
ReplyDelete"There is nothing right or wrong you can do about it. There is no big decision you are going to regret for the rest of your life. Life is a string of meaningful events that with the passage of time become balanced and understandable."
Amen.
Claire, I will be your best friend only if you get me really into mandolin music.
ReplyDeleteI can make that happen. I think I'm starting to have a thing for fiddlers myself.
ReplyDelete