Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Apparently I am an Expert at Getting Rid of the Aftertaste


So here. I will share my wisdom. All of the following things will clear your innocent little mouth of whatever travesty you've ingested. However, not every one clears everything. It's like a puzzle! A cruel life affirming puzzle that probably won't help you at all! Fun!

Aftertaste Killers

1. Peppermint Schnapps

2. piss colored Listerine (the other stuff is useless)

3. Cigarettes

4. Wet Paper Towels

5. Hard Liquor

6. Kissing

7. Expensive ice cream

8. Charity work

9. Hitting someone in the face

10. Painting something

11. Wearing makeup

12. Being really cruel to someone online

13. A salad

14. Edgewater Park

15. saying I'm sorry

16. pickles

17. peppermint bark

18. a rural roadtrip

19. the Concert for Bangladesh

20. fucking

21. fucking the wrong person

22. talking to your mom

23. going to an art gallery by yourself

24. Moving out of Tremont

25. blocking their emails

26. illegal substances

27. reading some political blogs

28. making your own hummus

29. adopting a cat

30. A shovel and some lime

31. nailpolish

32. blind adoration

33. bloody marys

34. yakuza movies

35. throwing your cell phone out the window
Edit: 36. Marines

4 comments:

  1. caffeine free Diet Coke always kills the aftertaste of meth and/or blow when it runs down the back of your throat. The things you learn at art school.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I concur with 1,6,9,20,21,and 26.

    However, you left off Marines.

    ReplyDelete
  3. 30. A shovel and some lime.
    :))))))

    For acid reflux? ;)


    ps Re Sunday's post , I lie the funny ones. Maybe "they" aren't warped enough?

    ReplyDelete

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