Friday, December 4, 2009

Shout Out

Hey New Marc's at Cams Corner! Hey you there! Yeah, look at you!

I'll admit, I'd been burned before. You were always so demanding. I either had to drive to Parma to Southland, or deal with your scuzzy useless stores on Lorain and Puritas. Even the Marc's in Mayfield was constantly crowded, and the aisles seem to move in on you like a torture device. Plus it was so hard to find stuff! And the lines were horrible human centipedes on klonopin.

But you've won me over with your giant wide open spaces, your deli counter and produce section and smaller than usual discount crap section tucked nicely away in the corner where grocery shopping people like me don't have to maneuver around old biddies shopping for ornaments made in China. You have Corbo's cookies! And fruit cups 3 for 5! Not generic kinds either, no it was like, Dole. You gave me a 1/2 pound of hard salami for 1.50. You had my kind of cat food. I bought everything my broke ass needs to eat lunch and dinner for a week for 20 dollars. And I even got ice cream! When I got to the line, there was only one person in front of me! They didn't pay with a check! When there was an issue, the manager was there in 5 seconds! And best of all, like a jewel shining above us, there were flat screen tvs at every lane, playing not Fox but FOOD NETWORK.

And when I didn't have 27 cents, the cashier, who had all her teeth and didn't mumble, GAVE IT TO ME.

Also you are 5 minutes from my house. I'm sorry Giant Eagle. I will still go to you for certain things, like prosciutto, croissants, olives, wine, hoity toity payday week things. But I'll have to deal with a deficit of Fuel Perks, because Marc's wins.

8 comments:

  1. Also, I love that Ramen assumes you are too poor for a microwave, and only have a hot plate.

    But on the flip side, I'm very grateful that I'm so rich, buying Ramen is a treat food for me. Like a candy bar. A candy bar would probably be healthier.

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  2. I had a friend that called Marc's the "fauxery" store, 'cause you couldn't get real groceries there, just closeout brownie mix and Jhirmack shampoo of questionable age. This sounds way nicer.

    The Marc's in Coventry is all right although it does from time to time recapture that garage sale feel we all know so well.

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  3. http://www.walgreens.com/store/catalog/Shampoo/Brightening-Shampoo/ID=prod374925&navCount=0&navAction=push-product

    I'm guessing it's on a bottom shelf, next to the cans of Psssssst! Dry Shampoo.

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  4. Is there a new Marc's where the Pick 'n Pay used to be? (Sorry, I can't remember what's been in that spot between now and 1985. Giant Eagle?)

    Also speaking of shampoo, I remember once I went to the Medic Drugstore that used to be at Kamms, and saw a bottle of "Gee Your Hair Smells Terrific" on the shelf. This was in, like, 1998. Had to be 15 years or more since that stuff had last been sold....

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  5. this is totally exciting. I usually go to the Lakewood one but this isn't all that far away and is probably worth the trip.

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  6. Christine - this is where the Rini Regos used to be in Cams.

    TG - I don't think I even know where the Lakewood one is.

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  7. lol. The Lorain ave. one is packed. When im in there sometimes I think to myself, if there's a fire...I'm dead.

    The old ones used to have a ceiling open gas flame heater that ran along the checkouts

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Who wants to fuck the Editors?