I promise, as soon as this gets old, we'll return to our regularly scheduled programming...

If you could go anywhere on a big map of the United States made out of bricks and rocks in the landscaping of a park, where would you go?

I would lie down right in the middle of the Plains and warm myself like a lizard.

I would then go to Florida and kick the shit out of it.

How will the world end?

Well, one day I will find myself 30, and in the insurance field, in a relationship I've been in forever that causes me no great happiness. But I'll have a routine. Then one day something odd will fall out of the sky, and Philip Glass music will start playing all the time. I'll start to see signs that maybe my world isn't what I thought it was. Everyone is following me, everyone is watching me. I'll have paranoid thoughts, and lose my trust in everyone around me. It will seem like the entire world is trying to keep me in one spot, I will never be able to leave. I try to make plans, to focus on my desires, but I am foiled at every turn. Finally, one day, I will make a daring break for it, and slip away on a boat. I will sail to the end of the horizon. It will storm and fury, but I'll know that it's just the world I grew up in trying to keep me there, and I'll tie myself to my boat and sail onwards, until one day I hit a wall. And it's the wall of the world, where the sea ends. I'll walk along the edge, running my hands along painted clouds, until I come to some steps and a door. Then Christof will try and talk me out of it in a large very scary voice from the sky. But I know, waiting on the other side of that door is the real world, and somewhere in the real world is my one true love, and I'll walk through the hole in the sky and away.

The End.

Ask me anything