Saturday, November 20, 2010

Saturday Questions are So Pissed Off They Didn't Fill the Ice Tray Last Night

Seriously, have you ever tried to be hungover without ice water?

Before we get into this week's questions, I just want to thank all my friends who came out last night to Pechakucha, especially Colleen who helped me practice beforehand, and get drunk, and listened to my terrified high pitch keening. I'll post the presentation here at some point, for those who had other more important things to do, like be a really awesome singer, or dance with pretty girls in Spain, or homework. I had a lot of people come talk to me afterwards, and it was really nice to meet all you new people, but please forgive me if I don't remember your names next time I see you. I'm the worst with names. Also, if I was talking to you last night and then got distracted by another person, I apologize. I'm terrible at doing the whole moving from person to person thing. I'm much more courteous one on one. Let's hang out sometime and I'll prove it to you. Amy's friend, I'm specifically thinking of you, cause I was sort of in shock when you came up, and I wasn't my typical glowing attentive self. Frankly, I found it hard to pay attention to anything for at least two drinks after it was all done.

The best stranger last night was the guy who came up to me and was like "aren't you the girl who hit my car last year?" and it was me! That was the best.

Alright, onto the questions.

What's the deal with guyliner? And why does anyone care enough to make a "deal" necessary? Is guyliner a deal breaker?

I'm trying to think if I know any guys who use guyliner, and no one is immediately springing to mind, though there were quite a few who used to at certain points in their illustrious goth youths. Are there people who are not goth that wear it? I wonder if there is a whole secret group of guys who are using it, but you know, sparingly and tastefully, so nobody knows? If so, I totally respect that. I won't walk out of the house without mascara usually, I get the addiction of something that makes you look better.

I think the "deal breaker" is probably all that wearing guyliner implies. Which is a self consciousness about appearance that most girls don't like to be reminded exists. Of course, guys are just as self conscious as girls, but they are not supposed to look like they are, it's just supposed to "happen". Guyliner falls in the same category for me as too much product in your hair, or overly ornate eyebrows. I personally don't like it, because I like kind of scruffy looking guys, but I can't fault it. Guys should have just as much room to play around with their faces as girls get.

I would totally support any guy I knew who wanted to wear clear mascara, cause eyelashes are awesome.

Cake or Pie?

Pie all the way. Pie is so much better than cake. Cake is just bread with sugar in it. Pie is an architectural design.

If tiaras are so great, how come Prince wrote a song about berets and not tiaras?

Because Prince is a Jehovah's Witness who knocks on people's doors trying to convert them. Nobody in a tiara would stoop to knocking on a stranger's door. Also, let me point out his poor color choice in berets.

With the world in the state its in, with the gap between rich and poor growing greater every year, with so much wealth being held by so few people and anyone who see this disparity being tagged as a socialist, who is your favorite composer and why?

I love Beethoven from childhood, from years of banging out Fur Elise on our living room piano. I love Philip Glass, and I don't care what you think that says about me, because the Koyaanisqatsi movies are fantastic. Stravinsky, because the dinosaurs Rite of Spring in Fantasia blew my little child mind. Tchaikovsky because of Sleeping Beauty. Prokofiev because of Peter and the Wolf. I am a simply story minded girl.

I keep thinking about Elvis, how come we don't make guys like that anymore in our country?

You mean with the digestive capabilities of a humpback whale? I was specifically instructed by the asker of this question to not say anything bad about Elvis so lets all take that last sentence as a compliment. I mean, I don't really know what bad things I would say. Guy didn't do anything I wouldn't forgive any other person I know, unless there's something really terrible I'm unaware of, cause frankly, I'm not super up on my Elvis biographical trivia. But I would propose that in fact, they make guys like Elvis all the time. It's just that not all of them have musical talent. But hot guys with too much swagger, lots of ambition, and a penchant for crying in their beers which they tend to drink too much of? Those are all over. I personally know at least three. In Cleveland. I imagine that ratio wise, that means the entire population of Chicago is like that too.

I like this picture cause it looks like everyone is on a tipping cruise boat. Also, that's a lot of people. Jesus, that's a lot of people.

I think getting married is bad form, but I want your opinion - it's wrong for people to get married right?

Bad Form! Oh how I love the phrase bad form! I love the idea that there is a Form to fail at in the first place. It's so honest. Instead of pussyfooting around expectations, they just come right out and say "you, sir, are not the right SHAPE, your actions are not fitting our MOLD, SHAPE UP or you are a BAD FORM." Remember those little color tiles we used to play with in preschool, that fit together in designs? Colorforms, wasn't that what they were called?

Anyway, so marriage right? I don't see the point of getting married. I get that other people see the point, there's some validation they are getting from the commitment, it means something to them. It doesn't mean anything to me though. I don't see the difference between being committed to a girlfriend or boyfriend, living with them and sharing a life, versus getting married. The emotional commitment is the same, the intent is generally the same. Some friends and I were recently having this conversation over dinner, and someone pointed out the difference was marriage was commitment under God, which is sort of like, "oh, that's true, and that's always why I probably don't care about it at all". If you believe in God, maybe you care about marriage? All I know is that if I'm with someone for years and years, and I live with them, and share finances, and plan things together, then I emotionally expect the same thing of them, whether or not we spent 20,000 on a big party once.

Except, there is always the tax thing. And the insurance thing, and the hospital visitation thing. Society really wants you to stop sleeping around and just couple up already. I get sort of pissed at that you know. It's discrimination against people who don't believe in the need for religious ceremony. I personally feel that instead of just trying to get marriage rights for gays (which is infuriating, that not only do we have this antiquated system of partnership, but then also no gay marriage? It's just medieval, I don't understand how it exists, it baffles me, that we can be so backwards for an institution that exists for exclusivity), we should instead be trying to fix the system so that marriage is not a thing that matters in government at all. Marriage is a religious thing, and last I checked, there wasn't supposed to be religion mixing into my state.

But if other people around me want to get married, just like they want to go to church, or ride bikes everywhere, or listen to Trip Hop all the time, it's their choice. And just like a bat mitzvah or a first communion, it should have no legal or financial ramifications at all. Because it's my choice too, and I shouldn't be penalized for not wanting it.

Say an evil (necromanced) killer trash talking turkey has stalked and killed your friends before you were finally able to kill it. Why would eat its burning carcass? Wouldn't the chance of him possessing you be high? Why would she eat him?

I need to clarify something here, is the turkey on fire? Is that how I killed it? Because then it would be burned and not very edible anyway.

I don't think I would eat anything that had eaten my friends, because I know what my friends put into their bodies on a weekly basis, and I'm guessing it probably doesn't lend itself to corn fed flavor.

Why does anyone put anything in their mouths, really?

Ask Me Anything


  1. I like that I can always tell what question is Jimi's. Also I must respectfully disagree with you on the pie v. cake issue. Also I am sorry I missed last night.

  2. You must be sorry, cause you never leave me comments.

    We will have a pie versus cake war. We'll pick one ingredient or flavor, and have a bake off, and make Sarah, Chris, and your boyfriend choose. I'm so confident, I'm even okay with letting the guy sleeping with you be the judge.

  3. Do you think the ceiling fans in the euclid arcade actually do anything way up there?

  4. when I was younger, and dating, I was cute. I dated this guy that was REALLY good looking once and I had to dump him because he was far cuter than I was and I just couldn't stand that.

    I'm for pie by the way... and although I'm married myself I don't see the absolute need for it either...

  5. J- no. not at all. not even a little.

    L - It's not being good looking, it's being "pretty" that I'm not into. Which is totally sexist of me. I'm such a stereotype sometimes....most of the time.

  6. I wore eyeliner!

    Anyhow, there IS a value to ceremony-- it doesn't have to be religious, though the troublesome history of it is a real factor. Anyhow, rites & ritual can still have value as social signifiers.

  7. I don't know if I want to get married, but damn it...I applaud your answer. FUCK YES.

  8. M - but see, there is value to SOME people, there is not value to ALL people.

    OWO - I find it funny that my attitude about having kids has mellowed, but my attitude about marriage has not kept pace.

  9. I'm definitely going to use the phrase, "bad form" more often.

    Talking on the phone at the movies is bad form!

    Texting while driving is bad form!

    Murdering thousands of people is BAD FORM!

  10. Re marriage: right on. Every word. Get out of my head.

  11. LB - BAD FORM is the new name for my all female polka band.

    Mel - No. I mean, yes. But no, I'm not leaving.


Who wants to fuck the Editors?