Pistachio Apricot Pie

This is by far my most requested pie. I've made it for birthdays, random cheer ups, and also solely for the purpose of impressing people. It's not the prettiest pie in the world, but it can be. If you're not lazy like me and actually take the time arrange the apricots so that they come out defined, like egg yolks. But I don't even make my own pie crust. Because if I time it right, I can actually whip out this pie in about ten minutes, get it in the oven, and have it ready in time for Iron Chef. Everyone has different priorities.

So right, back to the part where I never make my own pie crust. I make a fair number of pies. It's my favorite kind of dessert, you know, besides ice cream. I guess I just like my sweets in semi-liquid form. But man, do I hate jello-like savories. Anyway, I know this is a major flaw, on par with dressing up your pets in wedding dresses, or being a Jehovah's Witness. But dough hates me. It never does what I want it to, which is unacceptable because it's like the simplest formula ever. I imagine that someday I will be killed by a large animated plop of dough, suffocated and stuffed into the back of the cabinet with the cake pans.

So I buy frozen pie crust and frozen puff pastry. Believe me, I long for the day I can make my own bread, or make my pie crust out of duck fat. But it's going to take some serious courage and probably a lot more counter space. If you want to make your own crust, cause you're not a loser like me, any simple crust recipe will do.



Pistachio Apricot Pie

- one large egg beaten
- 1 cup sugar
- 1/2 stick butter melted
- 8 fresh apricots or two cans of canned apricots in lite or no syrup
- 2 cups slivered almonds
- 2 cups unshelled pistachios (or you can substitute 3 large tbsp of pistachio paste for 1 cup, and only ruin your fingernails shelling one cup of nuts)
- 1 tsp vanilla
- 1 frozen pie shell

Preheat oven to 375.

Take one cup of the almonds and one cup of those pistachios (unless you're using the paste) and grind in a food processor until flour like.

Put your pie crust down in the pan, and sprinkle the bottom with the remaining almonds.

Combine the ground nuts, sugar, butter, vanilla, and egg. Mix until well combined.

Halve and peel the apricots, then lay them down in the pan, flat side down, as evenly as possible.

Pour the nut mixture over the apricots. Sprinkle the rest of the whole shelled pistachios over the top of the pie.

Bake for about 55 minutes.


So I made this last night. I also made banana bread. I was baking over at S.'s house and he had no butter, which I had not brought even though I brought everything else I would need. I called Colleen, hoping she could let me borrow some butter. Which by the way, is the wrong turn of phrase here, cause C knows she's not getting the half stick of butter back from me. Anyway, I tried to make the bread before Colleen sent Matt over with the butter. So instead of butter I tried substituting sour cream and a little Crisco for the fat. These things happen when Bridget's been drinking. Bad idea. EW EW EW. The whole loaf tastes like Crisco. It's going in the trash and I'm trying again today. Maybe. I have other stuff to do too, and my taste for banana bread has been a little diminished.

It's a beautiful sunny day, and I'm really enjoying the Ting Tings right now. So fuck cooking this afternoon, I'll just have to make soup during Gossip Girl.