Cleveland Sports and Fishing Show

Is that a dead bird in there?

Yesterday, S. and I went to the Beachland Brunch to get a little drunk. We tried to make it to a movie at CFF first, but got there late and opted for a little tipsiness instead. They could do wonders for the Film Festival by holding it somewhere besides Tower City, the most infuriating place to park ever. So we said fuck it and drove to Collinwood. I had something called an Irish breakfast, which was Guinness, whiskey, some other alcohol, I don't remember. It tasted like a whiskey milkshake. S. had the Bloody British. Our waitress was super nice. The food is not always consistent there, but they more than make up for it with the drinks and atmosphere. And this time round, the food was actually pretty good. The fried scrambled eggs were very nice.

With soundtrack provided by Hall and Oates greatest hits, we drove to Berea, to meet up with Colleen and Matt somewhere, ditch our car so we didn't have to pay parking twice, and meander for free around the Sports and Fishing show. Colleen had two free tickets, and the boys tried to convince us to try this elaborate not going to work scheme to get them in for free too, which turned out to be unnecessary because someone just gave S. two free tickets, like, in front of the gate. Which should serve as a sign for the rest of the experience.

I'll just sum it up in pictures here...

Very unhappy camel at the petting zoo. Though I don't really know the standards of camel happiness. Maybe he's thrilled there's an endless supply of water and he's not getting whipped.

Amish crafted guns, taller than S. Very creepy, didn't know the Amish were packing this kind of firepower. Guess they have to protect themselves from the elephants rampaging around western Pennsylvania. I'm very sick of the whole "Amish made means real quality" schtick. I think I trust precisely tuned machines just a tad bit more than I do humans who have to repeat the same inane task 800 times a day. How's that for generational commentary?

Complex animal robots, designed to seduce and destroy. This is your future.

An expensive piece of machinery that from first glance, seems to be a foppish symbol of greed and luxury. But really, think how useful it would be during the Meltdown. You could just bob in the lake, hidden by darkness, watching the city burn. And it would be a great escape vehicle for trying to make it to the salt mines under the lake. Which I think we can all agree is really the place to be during the Apocalypse.

Complex humanoid robots, designed to seduce and destroy.

Demonstration of how to properly field dress a terrorist. Oh, I'm sorry, was that in bad taste?

I love these lights. I'm plotting how to make miniature versions for my house. I am slightly disturbed by fact there's a ballroom at the IX Center. What company says, hey I know the perfect place for our year end event. We'll make everyone drive out to the wasteland by the airport, pay 8 dollars for parking, and dance the night away next to a giant warehouse full of cars and fishing poles. Better yet, I wonder if anyone has ever gotten married at the IX Center.