Hump Day Takes On a New Depth of Crumminess

So I've been trying to actively shift my mood the last few days. Not that anything specifically bad happened. It's just that I just restarted Depo, so I went a few months without a period, and then March hit. Normally, before my adventures with birth control happened, I had a period for like three days tops. And then I was on depo for years with no period. Now, because of the restart, I've been bleeding for like a WEEK and yes I realize that some women do this all the time, but this SUCKS and I want NO PART OF IT. It's like having a leaking open wound. I feel dirty and disconnected and plus there's some sort of sharp shooting migraine behind my eyes? SCREW THIS. Maybe this is actually some sort of bleeding to death internal brain puncture, and it's just all leaking to my vagina because of gravity.

Also, I realize that I'm completely comfortable discussing my period with the internet, a family tradition, but I protest douche and tampon commercials on tv. I think the difference is that I really have a problem with the sugar-dove-springtime freshness coating of the issues. I mean, you want to sell me a tampon? Tell me it will not feel like inserting a stick covered in Mcdonald's paper towels. That'll work.

I've been eating so many fruits and vegetables, and yogurt, and crackers and cheese and fruit popsicles. All in an attempt to lighten my mood by lightening my diet. And I've been listening to happy music, and not drinking, and trying to go outside on my lunch breaks to get fresh non-cubicle air. Seriously, I've eaten like a pound of carrots this morning. I'm morphing into Fiver as we speak.

It's not working.

I decided to only read happy stuff online today, to counteract my natural snarkiness. But I don't even know where to start. Can't read any of the political blogs, and I read all the cooking blogs yesterday. Can't read the newspaper sites, or Salon, or Gawker. In desperation, I googled "sweetness and light", trying to pull up some home crafter with kids who talks about flowers all the time. Instead I got Sweetness & Light, CPAC's 2009 Blogger of the Year. World news from a conservative perspective.

So you know, that's not working all that great either. Plus I ruined that phrase for me forever.

All I want to do today is go home, make French toast, watch two episodes of Lost (cause I missed last week) and then ANTM. The French toast is key here. I like my French toast super eggy and super crispy, so it's pretty much like fried egg toast that I pour syrup over. It has to be real maple syrup, not that weird 2% syrup crap. And I aways pour a little orange juice in with the eggs, vanilla, and heavy cream.
And throw some brown sugar on ham and stick that in the oven. Then maybe I could take these damn carrots and make an ice cream out of them? Carrot ginger ice cream? With salted caramel chips?

So if we could just skip the rest of the day and move on to that please.