Bridget Callahan is Your Best Friend

This no laptop thing is killing me. Examples:

I attempted to call someplace the other day...only I have no phone books.
I wanted to go to a bar yesterday....hmmm where can I find ones that are open?
I made awesome eggnog ice cream yesterday and took pictures...that you can't see because I can't upload them at work.
I need to buy a bra.
I need to get the hell out of dodge for New Years, but have no way to mapquest, buy a hotel room, get concert tickets.
I watched 4 straight hours of Star Trek the Next Generation yesterday.

All of this is a serious arguement for getting a phone with internet. Or an eye implant.

Edit: I thought of all the horrible things that could happen to me without internet access at home.

1. I could have a plumbing disaster where all my pipes burst and I'm locked in my house, and since I can't call a plumber, locksmith, or someone with a crowbar, I drown.

2. I buy a new face cream without researching it, and it turns out I'm horribly allergic, and I'm blinded.

3. I try to go to Baltimore for New Years Eve with no map of the city, and I get very very lost, and drive straight into a gang war. And I die.

4. Overdraft fees.

5. Paris Hilton dies in a freak plastic surgery accident involving embalming fluid and chihuahua stem cells, and I know nothing about it.