Bridget Callahan is Your Best Friend

Somebody said "lists are good for you"...if they didn't, well I'm saying it now.
So here is a list of everything in my fridge. I'm recording this moment so that years from now I can look back and say "eww, what kind of heathen was I?" or "Oh my god, I'm exactly the same as I was at 28."

- week old 1/2 gallon of milk
- two half full bottles of green olives with pimentos (I'm afraid one went bad, so I bought another. Do olives go bad?)
- three half empty bottles of wine, two cheap reds and one decent white
- a pound of red potatoes
- three sticks of butter
- one thing of garlic that has sprouted
- mustard
- a 1/4 of shaved turkey (probably gone bad)
- one very stale quarter of a loaf of Italian bread
- 1 1/2 pounds of kielbasa
- a bag of parsley
- three jars of hemp oil
- an empty 2 liter of Coke
- relish
- maple syrup
- mayonnaise
- parmesan cheese
- a jar of pesto
- a container of chocolate frosting
- mango viniagrette
- organic beef stock

Freezer?

- a whole duckling
- three pounds of frozen mixed berries
- a quarter of a bottle of Paramount vodka

Cupboards?

- Cheerios
- flour
- brown sugar
- assorted spices
- sea salt
- cornstarch
- 2 jugs of vinegar
- olive oil
- red wine vinegar
- cupcake foils
- three different kinds of Lipton sides which are really all variations of macaroni and cheese (did you know it's not called Lipton anymore? It's Knorr. Fucked.)
- a half a bottle of Cafe Patron (coffee flavored tequila, highly recommended)
- bag of sugar
- plastic silverware
- assorted air fresheners.


So what does this say about me as a person? I don't buy real meals, but I cook a lot for other people. Buying lunchmeat is a waste of time. I put too much stock in condiments. I won't cook a whole duck just for myself. I waited four months before someone bought me silverware for my apartment. I take short cuts when it comes to odor control. I would obviously not survive very long if I was snowed in or confined by mercenary rebels laying siege to my house. However, the vodka would come in handy for any medical emergencies should that occur.

Mostly what it says is I live here. This is probably the first time my fridge has said that. Usually my fridge says stuff like "I don't know how to throw out takeout food" and "I believe I can survive successfully on only ice cream".

There's not much else going on. Someday I will post the very cool pictures from my trip to Plum Brook Station. In training right now, there's a guy who looks exactly like an ex-boyfriend from a long time ago, only skinnier and more groomed. He has the EXACT same voice though, which is really throwing me off in class. It's like every time he talks, I get flashbacks.