Ancient Egyptians Still Planning their World Takeover

Do you know I would punch someone in the heart if I saw them being mean to you?

Do you know if I saw you punch someone in the heart, I would make you into a myth. It means you might have to go into hiding, since you would never be able to actually live up to the level of legendary I would spread about you. But even if you spent the rest of your days in a basement playing xbox, wouldn't it totally be worth it? I mean, it works for the unicorns.

So what is the Eye of Horus?

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This is, I assume, in reference to the post about Gaga, and that silly silly lady who accused her and Beyonce of being part of a worldwide conspiracy. Because this lady believes the worldwide conspiracy is run by ancient Egyptians. Stupid dead mummies, always meddling in our plans. I don't know why anyone would be scared of world takeover by some dead people who couldn't even handle the Romans, and also had lots of cats. I think we can all agree that's a sign of weakness. Like, in the head. And spinal fluid.

What she's talking about is that heavily eyelinered eye symbol you see in Egyptian art. You know, the one that goth kids try to recreate every time Halloween comes around. Neither Gaga or Beyonce were actually wearing the Eye of Horus in their video, but they were wearing lots of eyeliner, which is where I assume the confusion happened. Because women who wear lots of eyeliner are no longer considered royalty. Instead they are devil worshipping, capitalistic, mind-washing Horuses.

Have we really not come that far from the days of makeup= whore? I thought we passed that point in the 70s. But no, the dancing=sex=gay crowd will persevere, despite their Adam Lambert voting tendencies.

The Eye of Horus is also known as the Eye of Ra. It's supposed to have these very precise mathematical proportions that correlate to six senses (the sixth sense being Thought). It's also been known as the Evil Eye, though obviously that's just a Christian backlash against what was a symbol of protection for pagans. Anybody who uses that much eyeliner is too self-involved to be truly evil. Case in point: Amy Winehouse.

Because of it's tenuous link to bodily functions, and the whole protection thing, I propose the Eye of Horus become the national symbol for Healthcare. That ought to piss the appropriate people off.

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So are you sick of Formspring now?

No, but apparently you all are, cause I'm not getting any new questions. Step it up people. I can't think of new topics all on my own. I mean, my last couple posts were about ANTM, techno, and Lady Gaga. I need help. Or I need to go outside.

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