Saturday, April 10, 2010

Formspring keeps eating your questions, its not my fault.

This country has a history of right-wing militias but how come we never hear of left-wing ones?

Because you never took a history class on the 60s, apparently? Hippies used to bomb stuff, yo.

I mean, the concept of right wing and left wing is fairly modern anyway. And people didn't really start talking about militias as a bad thing until after Oklahoma City bombing. So history is quite short in the modern sense of the word militia now.

Maybe they are not so much around now, but that's probably because left wing groups were always more into bombings, which is totally not cool to do. At least, not like bringing ak47s to healthcare debates, which is pretty badass if completely batshit. Left wing groups are too much about the community, the group, to use things like individual weapons. They want big massive group think destruction. Right wing guys want to pick you off one by one and play the individual victim. Which is a lot more attractive to folks who want to be perceived as victims versus drones of a social reawakening group.

It also probably has to do with the fact that all those left wing crazies burnt themselves out on the Vietnam and Korean War protests. Their age peers who were right wing are now getting their moment of insanity. They had to work up to it with a lifetime of repressed rage and anger. I think everyone in that range of generations is just crazy. It must have been something in the milk or water or meat. We should check FDA records and see what the fuck changed.

And the reason that their conservative counterparts are coming out now? There are more right wing crazies now because they are all terrified of the new Digital Age and the major paradigm shift it represents, a paradigm where their farms and rifles and isolationism does not fit.

Beef or pork?

One gets me cursed by Jehovah, the other by like 20 Hindi gods. So I'm going with beef. Plus pigs are smarter than cows, which matters to me. It's like, I get sick when I see calamari being made, cause squid are so fucking smart, it's like watching a child be diced and deep fried. So gross. I mean, I still eat bacon. But they're not that smart. Just smart enough to make a difference if I have to choose.

I'm better at seasoning beef anyway. Pork I can never cook right.

The Boys favorite meat is chicken. That's weird, right? He doesn't believe me when I tell him it's weird, but its like totally weird that your favorite food would be chicken.

Is it just me, or does the letter q seem pointless?

Your face seems pointless.

Q is the prettiest letter in the whole alphabet. Think of all the great words. Quinine. Quite. Quixotic. Quill. Quintessential. And even when it's just in the word as a supporting actor: torque, burqa, qi.

The letter Q is like the saffron of our language, it makes everything taste exotic. I want to make rice with it, and alcoholic ice creams. I want Q to teach me tantric sex and then how to compose a South American folk song. Q is cinnamon infused condensed milk. It is the Buddha's eye and tongue and tonsils. Japanese ancestral ghosts always come back in the form of the letter Q.

Ask me anything

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