Saturday, April 24, 2010

Confirming that I am not the best driver, though not the worst.

You know how you pick up random bits of information and then they hop back into your consciousness without you really asking them too? I'm the queen of this. Today at lunch I was driving to buy toilet paper, which I had run out of last night. Running out of toilet paper sucks, but it also made me appreciate my pile of allergy tissues by the bed. So I'm in the car going down Lorain, coming up on one of those nasty dips in the asphalt that occasionally forms around a manhole cover. I know this dip. I routinely avoid this dip successfully. Today for some reason I came up on it and I thought "turn into the dip" and rammed my car right through it.

The car is okay, but the point is this. For a moment, I thought I was sailing a boat. In rough weather. You know, like turn into the wind?

I have no idea if this is how you are actually supposed to sail a boat, because I've never done that. But at some point I read that, and now it kicks in when I'm trying to avoid potholes.

This morning I texted The Boy
"Who would win? Giant Space Bear versus Moon?"

The Boy: "Anything bear wins over anything that's not bear!"

I went to see Echo and the Bunnymen on Thursday, courtesy of Positively Cleveland. They gave them to me on Twitter, which hey, that's a reason for Twitter alone. I win stuff all the time. It's like the reason I never won anything else at any point in my life is so that this year I can win everything. I'm not a big fan of Echo, but I got to take someone who was a fan, so that was nice. He was also taller than everyone there, which is nice for him. We met a guy who turned around and excitedly asked me if I "knew" the band. I replied "just don't quiz me on it" which is a really smooth way of me saying "absolutely nothing at all, I shouldn't be here." He had been a fan for, I don't know, the whole time they've been playing, which is what? A hundred years? But this was his first time going to a show of theirs. He was so excited. He was with his friend who was doing something really fucking cool in Dayton, medical generational studies, and his friend was super chill and obviously there for his friend sake. The friend bought us beers. Also the fan guy was going through some super nasty divorce, that he was visibly depressed about. He asked me to take a picture of them together. He ran around to everyone and found the other fans who, like, follow Echo and the Bunnymen around. It was the nicest thing ever. I felt like telling everyone at the show to clear out, this guy should have some one on one time with the band.

I later also felt that way about the old lady dancing by the lighting guy, who was that dancer who just doesn't give a damn personal space or looking good or the quantifiable difference between a flail and a jiggle.

I wasn't super impressed by the band. I thought the sound was hollow and flat, which is that the venue's fault? I couldn't tell. They looked really tired, and the lighting of most of the show kept them in the dark. I mean, I guess they tour like every three months, and after 25 years, no wonder you blatantly disregard rules and chain smoke on stage. It was like watching a movie where everyone smokes, you really want a cigarette yourself again and again. They played the songs I liked. But nobody danced except the two Super Fans.

I gave TWO cigarettes to a homeless guy out front of the place, and he then proceeded to say a bunch of dirty things about me to Jere? Who then had to move him along? I was ignoring it, as I'm wont to due when I sense crazy coming on.


  1. I will state here that I feel I failed as a person by not meeting you at the show.

    I suck.

    Woe is me and all that.

    We were upstairs and there was a Hilarious dancing couple up there.

  2. If you encourage them they'll only reveal their flaws!

    I could mean hobos or people at shows or...anybody.

  3. CP: It's okay. I was wearing my cloak of invisibility. Also, how were you to know who I was? It's not like we can telepathically recognize our Twitter friends in public. Yet. Don't beat yourself up.

    M. - You are absolutely right about that last thing, and I'm fixing it now. I mean, as soon as I'm done writing this comment. Which is now.

  4. That guy. I'm sorry that happened, we were nice to him and then he responded with badness and then as I was becoming more insistent that he go on his way the cop came and bounced him, I guess he'd been baiting and switching people a lot that night. Jerk.

  5. The funny part is how I missed all of it completely though I was standing right next to you. My super power is ignoring unpleasant situations!

  6. I tried to win Echo & the Bunnymen tickets for me and a friend in high school and then accidentally won
    Dave Matthews tribute band ones instead, which I turned down.

    Still don't know how that happened.


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