I am going to answer this question now instead of waiting, because apparently the whole Formspring team is being arrested and the site was a social experiment where they were going to reveal everyone's true identities on April 1st, (http://www.benkling.com/uploads/formspring.html)
Which is exactly the sort of thing I would do if I had any programming cajones at all, I kind of think its awesome. But it means the site might come down, and this is really important advice that might save your life one day.
Step 1: Never clean your car. Ever. Keep every fast food bag or target bag or plastic bag you took your lunch into work with today in the car.
Step 2: When you start to get that salivating acid flavor in your mouth, and you know you're going to start vomiting, thrust your hand into your not fit for human transportation backseat and if you've done step 1 correctly, you will find a bag immediately.
Step 3: Do not take your eyes off the road. But slow down to 50 or so, and make sure you are in a lane that doesn't require you to do anything but go straight. This method is not recommended for hilly areas. You should pull over if you're in West Virginia. Also maybe move somewhere where you are in less danger from mountain trolls.
Step 4: Hold the bag up to your mouth with as tight a seal as possible. Please note: this method may make you inadvertently good at blowjobs.
Step 5: Do not remove it until you have successfully evacuated your stomach at least three times.
Step 6: Write about it on the internet so everyone can read about your mad skillz. And that you are a public menace.
Edit -Oops, I forgot Step 7: Ignore step 1 when it comes to puke bags.
PPS: Alright, so apparently that's a fake news story about Formspring. But I thoroughly encourage the team to consider doing this. Please. Pretty please.
This is a WAY better method than rolling down the window and trying to project the vomit outside. You know how long it takes me to get that gunk out from the inside of the door where the window stores? A long time. A really long rotting then crunchy time.
ReplyDeleteNo, it's definitely better to get it on yourself than the car.
ReplyDeleteI always have plastic bags in the car for just this reason. Sometimes I'll grab a couple when we are leaving and Husband will be like "WTF? oh. right"
ReplyDeleteWhen I was in high school I got sick totally out of the blue on the school bus and I didn't want to be "that girl who throw up on the bus" (I had plenty of other problems in high school)
I had a purse and my book bag, so I emptied the contents of my purse into the book bag and threw up in the purse. NO ONE KNEW. It was amazing. The totally fucked up thing is I went home and CLEANED my purse. WHY the fuck I didn't just throw that shit away I don't know, I was obviously never able to use it again.
I'm with you. I always keep plastic bags in my car (or purse, if I'm a passenger) for this very reason. I've puked while driving once with a friend in the passenger seat. She responded very concerned and eerily calm, like "would you like me to drive?" We've laughed about that incident for the last decade.
ReplyDeleteOnce I puked into one of those drawstring shoe bags -- you know, the fabric ones. Yep. They leak. That was not a brilliant idea.
We should totally start a secret society of girls who know how to puke appropriately.
ReplyDeletePerfect. I never clean my car. Complete waste of time with two kids who insist on spilling cereal on a daily basis. Can I puke in their car seats if they're not in them?
ReplyDeleteI think alls fair in love and upchuck.
ReplyDelete