America's Next Top Model Cycle 12 Recap: The Earth Day Episode

Brazil used to have the highest rate of deforestation in the world. In 2007, thanks to conservation efforts, they cut that rate by 52%.

And on ANTM, we too have reached the halfway mark. What better country to fly the girls to than the cradle of the Amazon, the very pit of humanity vs. Nature? Since this show is basically the same battle. Of course, they won't be trekking in the jungle. But there are still piranhas to watch out for. Namely, rich white girls from California.

This week was really Natalie's shining moment. Here are a few choice quotes from her:

Beginning of the episode, referring to their new home: "This is Brazil, we know it's going to be awesome." Cause Brazil is known for its "awesome" housing.

Later, having seen the house, the Botanical Gardens, and the Girl from Ipanema: "I haven't seen anything special in Brazil." Stupid other countries looking exactly like Palo Alto.

Later still, during the photo shoot, complaining about the locale: "this isn't a good area. It's a poor area." Goodness, she even had to deal with a stray dog! The indignity!

So Natalie seemed to think that Brazil, known for its roving gangs of feral children, rampant police brutality, and extensive slums, was going to be one big romp through sexy South America. Oh Natalie. They should abandon you in the countryside for a few days, for your own good.

Otherwise, the episode was pretty standard. The girls had to run, yell at taxi drivers, fake fight each other with martial arts moves learned minutes before, and pose like drag queen Carmen Mirandas, in a (I think) tasteless homage to the Chiquita banana industry that has raped the countryside. Of course, no one knew who Carmen Miranda was. Oh, and Celia roundhoused Aminat in the head, which was fun. Jay Manuel referred to the "favela" as "neighborhood originally built by the poor" which is the nicest way of saying shanty town I've ever heard.

Natalie's picture of an angry Carmen Miranda slumped on a doorstep waiting for her next customer got her sent home. Aminat somehow stays, which means she had better be gone next week, because I cannot listen to her voice anymore. Allison won the photo shoot by looking least like a hooker and more like a nightclub floozie. Pho came in second, and actually CURTSIED to Tyra. Ice queen Celia melted.

And in the end, I was not satisfied, and was even more angsty when there was no new Lost. So the lesson here is that summer has come and I need to go outside more. And never wear fruit on my head. And probably shut off my cable.

In other news, I've been doing data entry at work for the past few days, helping them get caught up, and it's drained me. My head is full of point click point click point click. I also can't get twitter at work anymore. It's like the universe is conspiring to get me a little more disconnected. It's working.