Bridget Callahan is Your Best Friend

Not joking. I just had more occasion to sign on to Myspace and THIS was the ad listed underneath whale mamas....


Angels' Eyes-Tear Stains

Eliminate Tear Stains in Cats. Works From the Inside Out

What?

Maybe you should stop fucking with your cat so much, dickwad. Maybe it's starting to get a little insecure. How about you stop taking it for granted that YOU'RE the one with the food and YOU'RE the one with the bed, and the shoes, and the car and the pretty smelling body soaps. What's your cat got, huh? That silly pink catnip ball, a collection of corks, and his tongue. So leave the poor beast alone. And that goes DOUBLE for you, Mr. LOL cats guys. Your cat didn't ask for captions. He didn't ask for you to dope him up and pile remote controls on his belly or socks or tonka trucks. He certainly didn't ask to be stuck in a goddamn bottle.

I really really wanted an excuse to use this image.

You know what I think? I think the internet hates cats.

Also I just got spam in my inbox for drug rehab services with the title "I'm Not That Innocent".