Bridget Callahan is Your Best Friend

Well now the real nasty bits are coming out... Old Man McCain is fighting his demon gooks, St. Obama is getting free cellphone service for the rest of his life, and even the Iranians are depressed about the state of American politics.

Remember last year, when we were still optimistic enough to think this would be an easy election? Well, my bad. Call me stupid if you want. I'll just remind you of this incident next time you tell me my cynicism is the reason dolphins die.

It makes want to stick my head in a bucket.

Luckily, I maintained a healthy relationship with my Obama fervor (see, tempered cynicism works), and so this let-down doesn't completely break my heart. Like the boyfriend who suddenly works late, I think most of us saw this coming. We've already pre-justified our vote in November. Plus, didn't I just point out that McCain said "gook"?

Cheer up, because those of us who didn't see this coming, are so young and in love, they don't give a shit about this anyway. What's a telecom? In this era of Facebook, we all know our bosses are watching us all the time, and that's way scarier than the US Govt. They can't even send us our stimulus checks on time, what are they gonna do?

If you all really wanted to keep your activities private? You wouldn't ask for a quarter over the phone, you wouldn't twitter or tweeter or whatever bird noises you make, and you would not use the internet. Ever. So forgive the loss of this "right", and then forgive the next one, and the next one, just until November please.

Then we can flay him alive if we want to. And I have a feeling, by then, we'll be motivated. Not by hope, though.

I know, its terrible and depressing and awful and totally unfair and uncalled for and unfounded in any actual reason or evidence.

But hey, if Jesse Jackson feels this way about you, that can only be good publicity in some people's eyes.