It's Zombie Week: Show someone you care, get them a cricket bat

I've been staying away from this thing in a total funk, unable to think of anything decent or humane to write about. I'm dead stalled on the book, and the idea of writing here when I'm not writing there is dreadful. So instead, here's a list of things I did this week. Maybe if I just start typing, I'll feel better.

1. Saturday I went to a friend's Cancer party. Not because he has cancer, but because his friends are Cancers. Just like you would expect from the title, there were girls with boobs (supposedly there are no flat chested cancers), a bonfire in 90 degree humidity, and boys playing guitar. Also, there were not that many people, which is funny, cause Cancers supposedly want to stay home all the time. I met Nate's new girlfriend, who is, like every other girl he's ever dated, hot. Nate is an attractive guy, but he's not a model or anything. Yet somehow he is capable of meeting any really hot girl in Cleveland. With no droughts. It's like his super-power. I don't know, maybe it proves that there are way more hot girls than hot guys. Anyway, she's really nice, and so was her friend, and over all it was a big improvement from the last one. It rained a lot at the party, and I got very wet, and introduced everyone to Cafe Patron, which is the best liquor ever.

2. Sunday---Sunday I was supposed to go see the Vatican treasures exhibit with my mom, but I woke up all early and hungover, and got dressed in clean non-embarrassing clothes....only to have her cancel on me when I got there cause she was so dead tired from driving around Noble County on Saturday looking for land. I think it's cute my mom is on a quest for land. It's like she's a pioneer, only instead of Indians she's trying not to get scalped by rednecks or churchies in the backwoods of southern Ohio.
Since I was free for the rest of the day, I went over Marty's early with food. Stupid Blockbuster stopped carrying Nightwatch like THAT day, so I rented Fido instead. We made chicken kebabs and brown rice, and for desert I broiled goat cheese with brandy, made a carmelized banana sauce, and served it with raspberries. Buddy came over, we watched the movie, the movie was AWESOME.
Let me repeat, FIDO IS AN AWESOME MOVIE AND YOU SHOULD SEE IT if you like movies about a world where suburbanites have domesticated zombies and use them as servants and pets. Which I do.

3. Monday - I worked. I talked a lot about zombies at work. Oh wait, but before work I went to get my e-check for my car, and on the way to get my registration I discovered my license was expired! Gasp! So I had to get a new license picture and it sucks cause I need a haircut really badly and now I look like a fat Ringo on my license for the next four years.

4. Tuesday - I worked. I made myself a frittata when I got home for dinner. I did my dishes.

5. Wedns. - I worked and the conversation about zombies continued. I got home and watched Project Runway. Then CSI:New York was on, and it was about a zombie!

6. Thursday - I worked and I learned what a Golden Birthday was. I made plans to go to Milwaukee and Chicago in September to visit work friends and my sister. More zombie talk.
Also Buddy sent me this video with some smarmy comments about a guy I dated a long time ago:


7. Friday - I worked. And the conversation on email was about dinosaurs and some word game I don't play very well. I never play word games well.

And here I am. Now I'm gonna go watch bad Friday night tv and paint. I kind of feel like a zombie. See zombies are so relatable! We equate them with work, and modern society, and also we feel bad for them cause they used to be human, and we feel guilty cause we have to kill them and really its about civilizations killing other civilizations for power and survival in the giant risk game that is North and South America. I love the place the mall has in zombie mythology now. I love zombies. But I don't want to be a zombie. When I die, I would like to have my head cut off please. And then cremated.