Today I just lowered all the prices, and you get free shipping AND free baby unicorns to the first 100 customers.
Only they will probably be dead because I have to ship them.
I mean, I'll poke air holes, but there's still the being tossed around and rained on and trucked and trained.
I've also heard baby unicorns can survive three days without food or water once they hatch, but that seems sort of optimistic.
If you see me soon, ask me about the Massacre at the Pearl Rd. Post Office.
Also, I'm not really giving away baby unicorns.
But please go buy stuff anyway.
Dead unicorns? SOLD!
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