I'm So Susceptible to Lights

Things that happened:

I totally forgot about how much I loved the Starlight Mints. So that's happening for at least the next 2 days.

We did this thing for Pechakucha where we got up in front of like 500 people and told 15 second stories that were kinda melancholy all around frankly, and then did shots from the stories. I totally didn't want to get wasted, even though we basically were doing six shots each in 6 minutes, cause I didn't want to embarrass the friend I was with by being my drunk self. So I only had an Irish coffee to calm my nerves beforehand, and then a beer when we got there, but also maybe some cold medicine, non-drowsy, cause I was terrified of breaking into a barking coughing fit in front of everyone. Well, that may have been my undoing. But it totally made me talk fast enough. And talk a lot. Perhaps..maybe...too much? Oh, no such thing.

No, it's a thing.

Shots done: Southern comfort, tequila, pineapple and vodka, vodka, another vodka. In combination with the experience of Vodka night, I'm starting to think straight vodka is my gin.

We went all scurrying into the Higbees building, which is very white and office like when you first walk in, but then the elevators betray it, darling stamps of the industrialists, that totally knew sexy elevators. Up to the 10th floor, where the ceiling curled around like a movie set, and I twitched my nose and bounced my feet a lot while waiting. It's nerve wracking you know, it's shattering to sit there waiting to take your turn. Especially when you can't be drunk beforehand, which is the way I got through it last time. This time I tried wearing sequins instead. I mean, it's not quite the same. But random strangers will always tell you how shiny you are, like you've forgotten, and so it's a cheap way to get an ego boost. Using strangers as medication.

I also forgot how much I liked Cake. Jesus. It's totally going to be one of those weeks.

So we got up there and did our thing. So this thing I do when I have to be in front of people, I sort of zone out and I'm in some sort of time bubble where the audience is frozen and it doesn't matter what I say, it's just bouncing off of them in icy waves and falling to the floor crackling. Anyway, it seems to have gone well. People were awfully nice afterwards. We were leaving, and somebody in their car driving by shouted "Good job!" and that was so cool, to be jaywalking across a dark cold city street, dodging cars in a shiny dress with two cute boys next to you, and to get yelled at like that from a car. Best moment. Reason #356 to wear sequins, when you do something, people will remember you and be able to spot you cause you were wearing That Dress. Probably that should be the way you pick all dresses, the ones you keep. Only ones that help people pick you out from a crowd.

After our thing, it was a break, and I had to run outside to stick a cigarette in my mouth and try to erase the taste of Southern Comfort/tequila/water of the Polish wanderer. Like blood. More nice people saying hi, and Public Square being it's well lit abandoned blue dark self.

When we went back upstairs, I could barely stay still, I was drunk and wired from the cold stuff and the nerves and so James and I went wandering around into rooms. Everything on the tenth floor was weird hallways, bathrooms with rows of vanities, freight elevators and old christmas decorations stored in between concrete pillars. James posed with a cigarette and pulled off dashing. Eventually I came back, unwillingly, and tapped my fingers nervously watching the rest of the presenters. I'm pretty sure I really liked at least two of them, but frankly, I was floating off somewhere ADD, until afterwards someone gave me dice and then there was the same embarrassing thing I did last time where people kept coming to talk to me and I was all like La La La I'm incapable of listening to you, or not being drunk but I really love that you're here! And really maybe if you see me do something in public and you ever really wanted to watch me being stupid, afterglow is the best time for that.

Later I met a girl who had one of those faces that makes you happy, makes you smile somehow regardless, and man, I wish I could be a ray of sunshine. But it's hard to pull off. You don't want to give someone sunburn, right? And some of us, we just aren't those people. But hey, we got some other things going on at least. Like a burning desire to listen to indie pop music from 2003 all the time, and wear shiny inappropriate things, and take a million pictures of walls.