So while I lay here in the throes of unlovable contagious plague, watching Antiques Roadshow from Billings Montana, which is great because nobody in Billings ever throws anything out, here is a train of thought I had:
1) I eat meat.
2) But I can't fish or hunt. It's too hard for me.
3) Also I keep my cats alive even though they do nothing for me except shed and puke.
4) I support the right of women to have an abortion. I think it's important.
5) I wouldn't have an abortion myself though, probably, cause I do think of it as a form of murder. But the kind of murder that doesn't bother me.
6) For example, I eat murdered things all the time.
7) Except squid. I can't eat squid. Because they are intelligent.
8) Pigs are intelligent too, but I eat them.
9) I guess this means I value squid over fetuses.
10) I wouldn't eat a fetus though. I would probably eat a squid if it was that or starve.
11) Murder is just this thing that happens a lot, you know?
12) Fish are basically just mobile plants, right? I wish I liked eating them more.
My friend Camilla is bowling in the National Abortion Access Bowl-a-thon, and you can go pledge money for that here.
My friend Sarah is raising money for the Cleveland Animal Protective League, and will be matching donations up to a 100 dollars. Her donation page is here.
13) My friends are all probably much more moral than I am. I'm kind of a bad person.