Thursday, October 23, 2008

I could easily spend 150k on clothes if someone told me to.

I think the important thing to note is that, despite spending so much money, Sarah Palin still looks like she buys her clothes at Sears*. Which in fact tells me that she IS a hockey mom. So it kinda works for her, and against my own image of her as a babysucking Inuit witch from the wilds of ANWR who has taken the form of a pretty lady to wreak revenge on the tribes who trapped her beneath a glacier for the past 1000 years where she survived on the stringy flesh of water rats**. I absolutely believe that lots of other sports oriented mothers out there would also squander tons of money on clothes that look exactly like all the other clothes they have, in an Evansville*** heartbeat. I could probably sit here and pick out 150k worth of clothes for my own mom that would also be eerily similiar to her current Lands End collection. Of course, my mother has better taste.

We also haven't considered the fact that maybe the rest of her clothes were ruined by moose blood or christ blood. That shit stains.

Last night I had a dream where Obama and I were at the same hair salon in some strip mall. And while we were waiting around for our appointments, he took me driving around in some SUV, through an area that was like a creepy amalgamation of Downtown Detroit and Overgrown West Virginia. We smoke a bunch of cigarettes together and talked about why he isn't pushing harder for Broadband.

I have officially drank the Koolaid.

*This is not my original thought. It has been uttered by lots of people. I just happen to agree with them.
**An unintended consequence of global warming/glacial melting
***I don't know what I have against Evansville either.

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