Bridget Callahan is Your Best Friend

Well, I did finally go to the bar last night. We went to Brothers Lounge, which is that place we all know as the creepy boarded up storefront across from My Friends, but now its back to being a beautiful jazz lounge with padded bar stools. I ran into a girl there that I used to work with, and I know I really hated her for a while, but now I can't remember why at all. Probably I was just being very judgemental and bitchy, probably I was pushing my bitterness at the workplace onto her. Either way, I decided to act like normal, since I couldn't remember. But it put Sean in an awkward position, cause he thought he had to snub her because of me.

See, I'm the girl that insists her boyfriend snub people she doesn't like, or more accurately, people who have done me wrong. Though I can't remember what it was.....damnit.

So Sean says "It makes me look bad, cause I snub them and then you talk to them like nothing happened." And it's true, I do. And this girl did too. Talk to me normally I mean. I don't know if we both decided to let bygones be bygones, or if she talked horribly about me behind my back once she left. Either way I deserved it.

So I have to learn to shed the final shreds of my bitchy girldom. Or keep my mouth shut. Or not care when I get discovered as an obvious hypocrite.

I guess I already don't care about that last one.

Today at work I was assaulted by the Perfume Lady. This is a middle aged woman who sits in the back of the floor, and everytime she walks through the cubicle valley, she leaves a lasting trail of cheap awful perfume in her wake. I mean, I think she spritzes the hall as she walks, like her shoes have little machines in her heels to distribute the stuff. And worse, it lasts forever. She can walk by once and the area is poisoned for at least 30 minutes. I have to hold my hand over my mouth to not get sick, and its so bad I don't even try to hide the fact that that's what I'm doing. She must be afraid that she will get lost and not know how to find her way home. Or that some other old lady will take possession of her flowered picture frames and daily spiritual sayings if she doesn't mark her territory. You know, there are other old ladies there who show their dominance by always making elaborate jello desserts. I much prefer that expression of power. This scent thing is a physical attack. She is killing me one poor gland at a time.

So today she was meeting with her coach for like an HOUR, and her coach sits RIGHT NEXT TO Me. It was unbearable. I actually took my lunch early to get out of the area, and it still reeked when I came back.

Now I know I've been guilty of wearing too much perfume, which is why I don't wear it anymore, cause smoking has killed all my powers of discernment. But how does anyone walk out of the house smelling like this and not know? More importantly, how does anybody in the back of the floor sit next to her while working? I mean, at least five people sit next to that woman for 8 hours a day. I get a migraine from five minutes of exposure. They must all have developed secret nasal mutations from coping with it. Maybe there's a light fixture back there thats giving off nose mangling radiation, and nobody can smell anything anymore, and that's how she exists.

Have you ever walked into a room where a cat JUST peed on a wooden floor? It smells like that. It gets into your pores and nosehairs and eyes, and makes you never want to breath again.

Then I get out of work and it turns out today is City Manure Day.
Awesome.