Things That Make You So Fucking Metal According To My Facebook and Other Online Social Networks:
garden gnomes
seeing your kid win a wrestling match
making a nice asparagus risotto
buying a Ford Fusion
graduating college
having a barbecue
hauling 800 pounds of mulch out to the backyard
gluten free cupcakes
taking your mom to lunch
hello kitty purses
bowling with your friends on a Thursday night
wearing a bike helmet
getting a tattoo of a carrot
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