Thursday, October 14, 2010

This is as close to office talk as I will ever get

Recently an email went out, honoring some employees who had gotten high results in customer service for our department.
That's nice. Good for them.
But then every manager hit reply all, and one of them said this, "Wow, I can't imagine a better list to be on!"

Can't you?
What about the list of people who will never get sick and never die? Or the list of people who will make billions of dollars by being the prettiest? Or the list where everyone on it becomes a genie and gets to make wishes for themselves, which is like genie masturbation. The list of people who get to be a dog for one day out of every year. The list of people who live in space and live off sun sparkles and moon rainbows, and never have to poop. The list of everyone who can breath underwater. The list of people who secretly carry alien DNA and can read minds.

This is why I stay quiet.


  1. i hear ya. email correspondence like that is one of the (many) reasons why i just quit my evil-succubus office job.

  2. It doesn't bug me mostly, but it makes me think about the kind of person I want to be. A lot.

  3. The list of people that shagged Police-era Sting and don't have an STD to show for it. Or the list of people that are immune to UTIs. Or NYTimes Best Seller list! Or..or...

    Shit, now I'm not going to get anything done today. Thanks a ton, Sweet Monkey Chaps.

  4. Elly - we should do a correspondence book, and get on that last one.

  5. Hi there.

    I'm not sure how I've ended up here but I'd best leave a high five for calling out inane office communications.

    I've recently quit an office job and have vowed to seek nourishment from public dirt before ever considering a return to such an environment.

    It's unnatural and crushing.

    Plus it directly channels all of my creativity into coming up with hundreds of different ways to murder coworkers with innocent looking stationery supplies...which, though useful, is probably too narrow a specialty.

    Anyway, see you on the list of people who get to be a dog for one day each year. (YESSSS.)

    Kindest regards,

    Ms Flea

  6. Cause that is easily the best list up there. Good eye.


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