I'd like to propose that this is the quintessential list of things that you should never ever eat together, and also only have eaten for the day, if you would like to remain sane during slumber:
-6 shots of espresso
-1 cucumber margarita with chili salt
-1 pineapple margarita with chili salt
- a plate of chorizo, cheese, onions and peppers
- guacamole
- fried ice cream
- cafe patron with cinnamon orange slices
- coffee with cinnamon
- cigarettes
What will happen if you consume this particular grouping, in this particular order, is that while you may seemingly sleep very well, during the course of that sleep your brain will mutate into a teeming mass of black worms from an alternate evil dimension. A vortex where morality and virtue are signs of weakness and tastiness, and disgusting sounds are broadcast in the air to tune your biological systems to the most despair driven, fearful frequency you can imagine. There are giant squid who determine interest rates, with razor sharp beaks and unnatural ideas about self-worth. Houses with too many well lit, nasty raver boy attics, no haircuts and dirty carpets infested with stems and flea poop. Any and all attempts to accomplish something, like getting out the door, or making out with that guy, horrible ideas on their own, will end in humiliation and/or mutiliation. Your dream self will end up on sitting on that dirty carpet, staring at a tv you know is brainwashing you with murderous intentions, completely silent and hopeless. There will be a pet weasel somewhere in the corner, eating something you can't recognize.
And when you wake up? You will have a version of heartburn that feels more like a part of your larynx has actually burned off and is stuck, chunk like, in your throat. Which is good, because it's actually blocking the tsunami of stomach acid itching to burn out your eyeballs.
Before that though, I had a great time. Also, I found out I love SuperIndustrialLove.
-6 shots of espresso
-1 cucumber margarita with chili salt
-1 pineapple margarita with chili salt
- a plate of chorizo, cheese, onions and peppers
- guacamole
- fried ice cream
- cafe patron with cinnamon orange slices
- coffee with cinnamon
- cigarettes
What will happen if you consume this particular grouping, in this particular order, is that while you may seemingly sleep very well, during the course of that sleep your brain will mutate into a teeming mass of black worms from an alternate evil dimension. A vortex where morality and virtue are signs of weakness and tastiness, and disgusting sounds are broadcast in the air to tune your biological systems to the most despair driven, fearful frequency you can imagine. There are giant squid who determine interest rates, with razor sharp beaks and unnatural ideas about self-worth. Houses with too many well lit, nasty raver boy attics, no haircuts and dirty carpets infested with stems and flea poop. Any and all attempts to accomplish something, like getting out the door, or making out with that guy, horrible ideas on their own, will end in humiliation and/or mutiliation. Your dream self will end up on sitting on that dirty carpet, staring at a tv you know is brainwashing you with murderous intentions, completely silent and hopeless. There will be a pet weasel somewhere in the corner, eating something you can't recognize.
And when you wake up? You will have a version of heartburn that feels more like a part of your larynx has actually burned off and is stuck, chunk like, in your throat. Which is good, because it's actually blocking the tsunami of stomach acid itching to burn out your eyeballs.
Before that though, I had a great time. Also, I found out I love SuperIndustrialLove.
Right now he has prints at Shoparooni for sale as part of their Dick and Jane show, and it's fucking fabulous. You can also buy his cards on the website or at the shop.
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