Ice Cream: How Sweet Moses Gave Us Sugar Comas

It's kind of neat when you get to do things like go with your friends to preview ice cream parlors, though I have to wonder if there has ever actually been a bad review of an ice cream parlor? I know it's only March, but ice cream right? Ice Cream is my heroin. I had pretty much kicked the habit completely all winter. You don't understand how impressive that is. But like, I can't turn down a free sundae. I mean seriously.

So this is Sweet Moses, which is an ice cream parlor at Gordon Square. It's being opened by this very nice man who got out of corporate work and was like "dude, I wanna open an ice cream parlor" and then did just that. Which is impressive. Most of you will never do that. I will probably never do that. His family was all aproned up and working as well, and they were all really sweet, especially his son. The staff was fresh faced and rosy, and the whole place had that shiny clean new feeling of the just polished. There's a beautiful bar to sit at in front of a huge mirror with bright lights, the soda fountains in front of you and the whole array of syrups and mixers and chocolates. All three of us got turtle sundaes, cause who picks anything else? Soulless jerks that's who. Or, I guess, people allergic to nuts.

The thing about Camilla and Sarah and I is that we are sort like Sex in the City, if Sex and the City was actually about a bunch of weird girls with raccoons paws who cannot resist popcorn.

We had a lot of little free candy samples of the bark and ice cream and caramel corn and white cheddar corn and jesus, we all went into sugar shock like an hour after. Camilla later took way too much money out of the ATM and stole a shark pinata. I later had a conversation on the phone in which I'm pretty sure I sounded like a 10 yr old Brownie scout. I did in fact twirl my hair for the rest of the afternoon. The whole damn day became like a run through of Bye Bye Birdie, only instead of the phone call song, just flash text messages across the screen. Sugar high 30 yr olds, god. For instance, look at the condition of our table when we left. Remember, none of us have kids.

Popcorn on the floor even.

C: Oh my god I have diabetes now.
S: We all have diabetes now.
C: My feet are going numb.

So okay, how was everything right? Well Sweet Moses makes the best caramel corn ever. I'm not exaggerating. It's pretty amazing. Just go there first to get that. And in the bag of samples we got to take home The English Toffee was incredible. Really melty on your tongue, like the maple candies you get from Burton during the sap season, but you know, made of pure butter. The ice cream itself made me think it was soft serve, it was that kind of creamy, and the sundae all together was huge, definitely something to share. The homemade hot fudge was pretty good . The white cheddar corn was great. I know it sounds like I'm just extolling their virtues cause they gave me free sugar, but let's face it, if you're going to think about opening an ice cream place on the corner of Detroit and W.68th, you'd better know what you're doing. And I'm just saying, they seem like they know what they're doing. The only thing I wasn't really into were the peanut butter sandwiches, with fillings like nutella, marshmallow, and bacon. But I'm not really a peanut butter girl anyway, and I guess if I was a kid and someone bought me a peanut butter nutella sandwich for a snack, I'd be pretty happy. It'll be a great place to walk to after a movie in the summer. Babysitters and first daters who aren't going for the drunk first kiss, take note.


So yes, thumbs up on Sweet Moses. Although they need more stuff on their walls. Hopefully as they become part of the neighborhood that will start to fill up, cause it seems like they're running that place with love, and usually that leads to collections. Which will probably be a bunch of art I won't like, but that's how you can really tell when places are really staying, when they get a little clutter. I personally like the old Cleveland prints they have up now, they just need like, more of them.



Sweet Moses officially opens up this Saturday. Another sign that finally Spring is here and I am never ever ever going to wear a coat again.