But I woke up this morning with a monkey on my back, or rather a monkey hiding in the enormous welts that now cover both my eyes. Allergic reaction to something, probably the cat sat on my face while I was sleeping. So my horrible migraine is back, and my eyes are swollen up and my nose could produce hydroelectric power for a small village in China.
Benadryl! For God's sakes, Benadryl!
Speaking of God, yesterday was a very trying day for me at work. What with all this glorious Christmas cheer, it became increasingly evident through comments from my co-workers that I must never ever reveal that I am a heathen atheist, or I will be immediately ostracized. I'm pretty well on my way already, with my weird postcards and habit of reading all the time, even at lunch. Then this guy at work that was talking about starting a book club with me, gave me a book to read. About spirituality and how the author found god in spite of everything.
It just about killed me. And I'll read it still. Because that's the nice thing to do. Even though I want to toss it out the window. Or at least hand it back to him and tell him God isn't really my thing. But he doesn't know me, and he really just thought I would like it. So I can't be angry at him.
It's being insulted continuously by people who don't know that they are insulting you, and therefore you can't be angry at, because they wouldn't say it if they knew, but they would still be thinking it anyway, so you would never be friends with them in real life anyway. So why bother raising a fuss? I just say thank you every time someone says "God Bless" or "Merry Christmas".
I'm an atheist in the closet. GROSS.
I mean, I've had a conversation about how I don't want to get married with a few of my co-workers who I actually like, and even that small revelation made them think I was really fucking weird. Like, the girls were actually appalled. Appalled. "How long have you been with him?", they ask. "What do you mean you might want to do something else with your life at some point? Don't you want to be with him forever?"
What the fuck. What kind of world am I living in? I know there are other social circles I can be in that don't find any of this strange. They must be out there somewhere, and there must be people who are part of them who are not gay or vegan. But I live in Cleveland, so I guess all my friends will be gay, vegan, or jewish forever.
That parts okay though....now I should go clean my house and make them food in appreciation of them.
Oh, but lastly, once again either the Scene or the Free Times is running some sex ad with my phone number mistakenly there. This happened a few months ago, when all of a sudden I started getting calls from numbers I didn't know at 4 in the morning. So I picked up one time and the guy said he was calling about the ad, and then wouldn't tell me what the ad was for. I'm assuming its one of those magazines, cause the calls started coming Thursday, the day of the new issue. Note to self: remember to pick them both up and start scanning, in case the ad is due to run for more than a week.
In the meantime, resist the urge to fuck with these callers and pretend to be a
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Who wants to fuck the Editors?