Showing posts with label children's books. Show all posts
Showing posts with label children's books. Show all posts

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Why Are We Such Big Fans of Children Having to Kill Each Other?


Yes, I know all the Christmas lights are supposed to be down by now, but for some reason, I feel like this giant mansion done up for the holidays as a reindeer nursery/prison is appropriate for this topic.

 I finally started reading Hunger Games. For those of you who aren't 30 yr old librarians or friends with said librarians, Hunger Games is a very popular YA book which takes place in a dystopian future. The United States has been replaced with 12 Quarantined Districts and a Capitol City. Every year, the Capitol exacts a tribute from each District of one girl and one boy, who are shipped off to participate in a survivalist game where they must hunt each other in the wilderness, last one standing wins. It's a trilogy, and I've only read the first one so far, but there's lots of starvation, sickness, arrows, pus, ect. It's bloody and sad, and it's exactly the sort of book I would have loved in middle school.

 As soon as the trailer for the upcoming HG movie came out, which every single one of my librarian friends posted and reposted enthusiastically, it begged comparison to another (sort of) well known movie about kids killing each other - Battle Royale. This movie is also based off a book, but I haven't read it yet. As soon as I'm done with HG, I will. It's long overdue in fact, because I am a huge fan of Battle Royale the movie. Huge. I keep a copy of the DVD in my car so if I'm ever over a friend's house and we want to watch a movie, I can volunteer it. It is one of my favorite movies ever, if not THE favorite. The plot of BR is that in an effort to quell school uprisings, the Japanese government randomly picks a class by lottery every year, and the entire class is shipped to an evacuated abandoned island, where they are fitted with explosive collars and also told to slaughter each other mercilessly until only one is left, or they all die. They are extremely similar plots, if not precisely the same. Even the way the Games are run, with broadcast announcements of daily death counts and random backpacks full of unknown supplies, is the same (except in Hunger Games the kids don't know most of the other kids, but in Battle Royale they are all fellow students, which in my mind makes it superior). In both worlds, the rest of the populations watches gleefully and celebrates the Games. It turns out I don't care about any copying, I'm thrilled in fact by details I run across that are identical.

 I'm just going to throw in this fun fact: Two of my other favorite books are Lord of the Flies and Enders Game.

 So question that I face is this - Why am I so entertained by kids hunting each other down like prey?


There are two possibilities:

  1) I Love Kids

 There are lots of other movies that explore the Reality Death Match idea - Mad Max and Running Man for instance. But not with children. I don't connect to those movies the same way, turns out I care very little about adults having to kill each other ( they do it all the time anyway). One of the main differences is that it's harder to forgive adults. In both Games, the villains, the really bad kids who are bullies and actually good at killing, are older children. They are the larger ones physically, sure, but they are also the ones closest to being real grown ups. They have lost their innocence and are well on their way to being the enemy. Adults are always the enemy. An adult who is not the enemy is an exception to the rule. So they have to die horrible deaths because they must be punished for being old.

 In YA books, the runt is always the best one. Think Boxcar Children and 5 Little Peppers, Little Women. Smallest means sweetest, nicest, kindest, bravest. Unfortunately, it also means you are probably going to get sick or die, depends when the book was written, but whatever. When we read over and over again as kids that we the children, we the littlest, were better people than all those nasty warmongering perverted greedy uncaring adults? That was absolutely true. That doesn't change. Children are always much more flexible, curious, resourceful, and unthinkingly loving....

  2) I Hate Kids

....because they haven't had to do anything their whole lives but absorb. The minute they get any real power ,like a weapon or a conch shell, they reveal themselves to be just a petty, vicious and selfish as any adult. Worse even, because they haven't got any concept of the world besides Self , they are incapable of empathy. Children as villains and murderers just helps confirm what we suspect about all the adults around us too, that they would totally eat us before the rescue dogs got there, assholes. Children are the most simplified purest version of the human spirit, and that very essence of humanity it turns out is blood and psychopathy. Yes, all of you fuckers kill each other off please. Interestingly enough, in both of these death matches, neither of the heroines really has to kill that many of the other kids, because the rest of them are all so busy immediately massacring each other from the get go. While that's a good narrative device to keep the list of supporting characters low, it's also a very direct illustration of survival of the fittest. And the message in both Hunger Games and Battle Royale is Fittest = Most Compassionate (Because Everyone Else is a Monster).

 And then maybe also here is the real answer. Most of the literature I read as a child was full of blood, hunting and survival. Kids getting smallpox on the prairie, kids running away from evil wizards and witches, kids being locked in attics and bedrooms by old ladies, kids dying from horrible diseases, kids being trapped on other planets with giant alien brains, kids having to live in a fucking boxcar where they beg for scraps from strangers. Everything was trying to kill you, and if it wasn't actively trying to put an enchanted spear through you, it was manipulating you and starving you. I feel like that kind of visceral life or death desperation is really absent in a lot of adult fiction. Probably cause we all started having sex, and then immediately love mattered more. Also, you know, we're supposed to be smarter as adults, more thoughtful, more tolerant, and therefore "understand" the villains. When you grow up, it's not supposed to be all primal fear, it's supposed to be intellectual and civilized. Which as adults we learn pretty quickly is the ultimate farce. A shell which hides real evil and obscures real truth.

 So it's good we still write books for kids that teach them how to defend themselves when Civilized Intellectualism tries to round them all up and kill them.

Edit: So German Shepherd puppies have two "fear" stages, one when they are a couple weeks old, and one later at a couple months old. During these times, they are naturally more skittish, sensitive to sounds, cowardly basically. It's supposed to imprint them with bravery, make them chemically face up to exaggerated fear so they will be used to it when they are older. THAT's what childrens books do.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

A List of Things That Children's Stories Starring Talking Animals Taught Me



1. The very best party food in the world, especially for chipmunks, is a corn cob roasted with honey. This is not true. I have tried it, multiple times, and it sucks. Also not on my party menu - thistle cream with boiled walnut pudding.

2. Making friends with birds is worth it, because someday they will fly you over the sea, or out of the Stalin era rabbit warren. It's true. Birds are like the airplanes of the world. Only they aren't friends with mice. They eat them. Also they are dinosaurs. Also they are stupid vicious mean dinosaurs.

3. Drinking dandelion wine you make yourself in your cardboard home in Times Square is not at all the same as being an alcoholic hobo. If you are a mouse.

4. Any animal with a scar or mutilation or opposing political viewpoint is a villain. And will eat your baby hedgehogs. Which all of your close multi-species allies might do at anytime too, but they won't, cause they have honor and speckled Devonshire cream tarts.

5. Cats are always evil. Unless they are not. But mostly they are. Do not fuck with them.

6. Animals grouped in militaristic societies are doomed to failure. Agricultural based communes will always succeed against overwhelming odds. Provided they know squirrels with archery skills. So the ideal community to be in is the peaceful rural one that has tribal, nomadic, but bearing no resemblance to a government, trained in the ancient violent arts allies who can be called upon when anything bad comes up, and take no payment.

7. Death is around every corner.

8. Animals should not travel in motorized conveyances. Not Toads. Not crickets. Not rabbits. Not penguins. Not mice. Never.

9. There is no such thing as a flighty bear. All bears are warriors. Pooh will secretly eat your face off. That's why everyone else in the 100 Acres Wood is so damned nervous all the time.

10. The most important thing to have on a quest is lots of really good food. And someone who speaks Otter.

Friday, June 25, 2010

Fridays Questions carry pictures of their cats in their wallets

Just kidding, Friday doesn't own a wallet.



if u were gay, would you eat a bagel?

Um, yes. I would even eat a bagel if I wasn't gay. I bet I might even eat a bagel if I was an astronaut!

What the fuck.

PS its been pointed out to me that this question is not referring to yeasty crusty toasted goodness, but in fact something foul. I am a lady and therefore do not recognize or acknowledge this. If you want to ask if I give rimjobs than just ask it. We're not 8. Well, maybe you are. Also, the answer is no.

Would you sacrifice's hot dog inn or steves for a 24hour bagel shop?

Steve's Hot Dogs is indeed a special institution. What with the prostitutes, annoying kids, and unusable bathroom that is actually an entrance to the hell dimension where everyone is a ferret owner. However, as you may have gathered, I like bagels, even the underage queenie wannabe ones. A 24 hour bagel place would definitely get more of my business, especially if they offered bagel sandwiches. If it's 2 am and you're drunk, you need grease and bread. A breakfast bagel with bacon and egg wins over a chili dog at least half the time. It would just be better to get it from a place where you have less than a 30% chance of getting hepatitis from the loo. And really good coffee would be a plus. There's no 24 hour really good coffee place in Cleveland.

whats a good paint remover?

Elks blood mixed with battery acid.


Do you ever wish that there were actual Elders of Zion who controlled the world?

Look, not only is the Protocols a terrible and racist publication, but its authors are plagiarists, and I would sooner read the original anti-Napoleon satire than pick up a copy of that filth. If I read French. Which I will never do.

But if you're asking me if I think the world would be a better place if an ancient religious cult was conspiring to control the world, then I can only respond with "Where exactly have you been?" There are multiple cults, religious, political and mercantile, that are all vying for control over the world. I think they generally all suck, and encourage everyone to support my cult, which would be way better at it than them.


What is the opposite of brown?

When I mixed all the fingerpaints together, I got brown. So 5 yr old me concludes the opposite of brown is the absence of any color.

30 yr old me insists it is blue.


What is a book which changed your life?

The Bible.

Hahaha, no.

Lots of books change my life all the time. Certain books change my life again every time I read them. I have a selection of books I use to inspire whatever mood I want to be in, like taking a pill or drinking a lot of coffee. For instance, Watership Down makes me super charged political, and The Phantom Tollbooth makes me all philosophical. . Sherlock Holmes makes me want to do puzzles. Tom Robbins convinces me I'm a better writer than I think I am. Margaret Atwood's Robber Bride makes me more observant of my moods. The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar, while demoralizing because I will never be as awesome as Roald Dahl, reminds me to be childlike and appreciative.

But the spot at the top of the heap, life story wise, I'll give to the Little House on the Prairie series. They were the first books I read all the way through by myself when I was 5 or 6, and the next ten years or so all my imagination was rooted in them. We played dress up to them. I had a pioneer playmobil set because of them. I made my own paper dolls because of them. I pinched my cheeks to make them rosy because of them. I understood the value of ice because of them. I was appropriately terrified of locusts and hail because of them. I had a running childhood first person inner monologue because of them. And most importantly, I really enjoyed going to historical places, museums and birthplaces and stuff, which started with those books.


Who do you love?

Lots of people. My family. My friends. My ex-boyfriends. The people I used to be friends with. Lots of writers. A couple musicians. Mostly dead painters.

Generally anyone who doesn't expect much from me, and is just content to hang out for a while and talk.

I especially love people who love me.



Ask me anything.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Childrens Books That You Have to have read to get me even a little

Alice in Wonderland
Through the Looking Glass
Black Beauty
Peter Pan
Pinocchio
The Last Unicorn
The Phantom TollBooth
The Wind in the Willows
Little House on the Prairie
His Dark Materials
The Black Cauldron
The Secret Garden
The Pushcart Wars
The BFG (oh, and I'm sorry, EVERYTHING ELSE BY ROALD DAHL)
The Little Princess
Just So Stories
The Prince and the Pauper
The Little Prince
Watership Down
The Blue Moose
Super Fudge
Tuck Everlasting
The Once and Future King
The Wrinkle in Time Series
Lord of the Flies (YES, this IS a children's book. Children get it more than you do)
Adventures of Sherlock Holmes
The Redwall series
Call of the Wild
The Cricket in Times Square
The Chronicles of Narnia
Boxcar Children

Note: this is a recipe to have your kid turn out like me, so maybe...in retrospect...

Friday, September 18, 2009

What's Up With Alice Being Everywhere?


Children's books are one of those things we forget are important. Just as important as your parents, your childhood friends, your first crush, your first big injury. Whether or not you read them determines a large part of who you are; who you'll hang out with when you're older, what kind of things will interest you or motivate you. Will you believe in good and evil? Will you be a tomboy? Will you watch every dinosaur movie made even though they are as bad for you as romantic comedies?

SciFi makes me sentimental, and I have to wake up in 5 hours, so of course I can't fall asleep, so I'm going to lay in bed and read The Curse of the Blue Figurine by Bellairs. And not think about the fact that Alice has been purposely changed from a curious, sort of spoiled child into a representation of creepy dollhouse fantasies with scary terror eyes.

Here are some things I learned, and remember as the big lessons, from my favorite children's books.

1. The universe is very very big and very very small at the same time. Thank you Magic School Bus, Wrinkle in Time series, and that book I read where the kid shrunk really small and went on a journey through someones body. Maybe his own. It kills me that I can't remember the name of that one.

2. Orphans and old people have it worse off than anybody, because it's family that helps you tolerate being poor.

3. Sometimes people will be right when they tell you not to do something. But if you listen to them all the time, you will never know when they are wrong.

4. For gods sakes, don't eat anything just sitting out. Ever.

5. All ugly little girls grow up to be beautiful, and all beautiful little girls also grow up beautiful but pug-nosed.

6. Giant animals are your friends. Mice have more interesting lives than you know. Animals are individuals, like people, and they are capable of being just as cruel and evil. I read Animal Farm really early.

7. The lives of saints really really sucked.

8. Always look behind the clocks, or in the library. All libraries have secret messages somewhere.

9. Your parents could die at anytime.

10. Old people can be friends to kids.

11. If you want to lie all the time, write instead.

12. Just because you are small does not mean you are incapable. When things go bad, you must act tall. Most adults are not any smarter than you, they just know more.

13. It's heroic to play in the woods.

14. Time travel is possible, but not controllable. It can happen anywhere, for any reason, and it's not as much fun as it sounds.

15. It's really far to get anywhere walking. But do not get on randomly appearing trains, or talk to women who smile too much.

16. You must always arrive on time for tea.

17. Never go anywhere an adult is controlling the fun (museum trip, circus, camping ect.) unless you are with another adult or a group of friends. Let someone know where you're going, just in case. Always bring a pocketknife and a small compass.

18. Don't waste time gawking about how you can't believe what you're seeing. Believe it and move on.

19. Magical things will stop happening to you as an adult, unless you become a weird and strange adult. Which means you will probably be alone, but you will have much more fun, and you will always remember to stock soda and cookies.

20. Anyone and Everyone can become a friend.