For Memorial Day, I'm Copping Out

I'm just going to post some pictures from this last week accompanied by my favorite twitter jags I want to remember. I'm too tired to do anything else. But I love being sunburned and I love that it's time to go in the water again, and I might be overdosing on vitamin D, is that possible? Can I die from too much sunlight? If so, I choose that.



"If I had a dog right now, no one would see I was drunk and making weird faces because the dog would be so cute. Logic."


"Rogers and Hammerstein hangover. Now huckleberry soda and deliberate tv watching with Meredith. I'm sort of "stuck" today."

"You all think I was being cryptic or cute about Rogers and Hammerstein. I was in fact being completely literal. That happened today."

"It was very very weird. There were a lot of old people. They are intimidating in groups."



We measured our tongues and decided we are all makeout/bandits genuises



How your head feels under somethin’ like that? Under your brand new leopard-skin pill-box magnetic face clamp? #BobDylanKillBot"



Love in the Time of Continental Drift
Love in the Time of Man Eating Ants
Love in the Time of Twisters.
Love in the Time of Sentient Alarm Clocks.
Love in the Time of Rapidly Receding Hairlines.




Love in the Time of Non Religious Affiliation.
Love in the Time of Gmail.
Love in the Time of 24 Hour Gyms
Love in the Time of No More Cats.
Love in the Time of Holy Fuck No Fucking Way
Love in the Time of Essential Moon Recalibration.



"True: Somewhere out there, the snakes are waiting to kidnap your unborn child and uses it for ransom/eat it.#biology

"True: Lions and Tigers and Bears (Oh My) are all better at playing Tetris #biology"



"True: Palmetto bugs can crawl into your ears and lay eggs in your brain that actually make you smarter.Until they hatch and you die.#biology"

"True: If you catch a chipmunk and stare directly into its eyes until it blinks, it will tell where it hid the treasure ie body. #biology"




"True: Hedgehogs are genetically likely to be bipolar, and have high credit card debt and low self esteem. #biology"

"True: Wallabies are born with a removable thin silver blade embedded in their spine, which they use to defeat their enemies. #biology"



"True: cats do not require air to live. They just pretend they do. #biology"

"True: Squirrels are born from storm clouds, and their eyes are made of hail. When it rains, they sing hymns. #biology"



"Bats mate for life, because finding someone to see in the dark with is really hard. True. #biology"




"#PuppyWithEnnui lets the cat sleep on the bed, for he understands loneliness."

"#PuppyWithEnnui knows his soul is in your camera, trapped on your hard drive."

"#PuppyWithEnnui wrote a song about it. But won't leave it on your voice mail. Because cell phones are lame."

"#PuppyWithEnnui Misses the old meaning of the word cloud."

"#PuppyWithEnnui believes Fitzgerald didn't know how to write women."