This is what goes on when I'm not paying attention...

So here are some things that have happened:

1. I got a new cat. My mother forced her on me when I came over to meet her new dog. Buster is a rangy West Side mottle mutt, who scurries away from people like we've got socks full of oranges behind our backs. He has legs like a greyhound, but the muzzle of a boxer. He likes fuzzy things in his mouth. Anyway, so I'm all like "aw, nice dog" and then Mom's like "hey do you want a cat? Do you want this obnoxiously affectionate grey cat that hasn't left our porch for two weeks and keeps sneaking into the house and seriously wants only to be loved and petted at all times 24 hrs?" So in a matter of 20 minutes, all the arguments I've made against this two cat system go out the door, and the damn thing already has a name. I tried to make it Fiver. But it was Nina, and I couldn't help it. I took her to the vet, and they said "no fleas, already spade, she's got a cold so quarantine her for two weeks". Hey, no problem there. Any excuse to put off the inevitable screaming showdown and inevitable piss all over my bed. Edison vs. Nina, available on Pay Per View 8/28.

2. Here is an example of Ex Boyfriend Logic: "You don't love me because you won't be my friend while I fuck other girls. It's unfair for me to lose my best friend because I don't want to go out with you anymore, you are being unfair and cruel." Here is another example: "Your hurt is not greater than my hurt. I've been hurting for years because you wouldn't let me date other girls, which was unnatural to me, why don't you care about my feelings?" Here is my logic: I don't drink nearly enough given my motivations. Also, I refuse to forgive people for things they don't regret. You get my forgiveness when you want my forgiveness, not just cause you think I should.

3. I have worked 24 days in a row, on Saturday it will be 26. I kinda feel like not stopping, like I'm halfway through some sort of marathon, and I made it this far so why not farther? Why not see how much I can work before the ringing of the phones becomes a constant whine in my middle ear and I start dreaming of org codes. And really, that's not a reason to stop. That's just a sign your body is morphing into the most efficient mode, your cells are tuning themselves to the correct frequency. It means I might be able to work forever! I will be super Cubicle Girl, they will stick me in a warehouse somewhere in the Badlands, underneath the rock, where I will file and grind and smile for eternity. You know how exercising gives you that adrenalin rush and you can become addicted like a 3 dollar meth whore? Well it turns out the same is true for not sleeping enough, not talking to people except at work, and sitting in air conditioning grayspace for 11 hours at a stretch.

4. I am off for the first time Sunday. I will drink in the sunshine. That phrase means two things, duh. It will probably rain and I will also drink in the rain, I'm not picky. On Monday, I will look for mold and graffiti, and I will be so happy to crawl into dark places that it will be OBSCENE. On Tuesday, I will try and clean my house so that certain people who are coming into town at certain times soon will be able to come over and suppress the urge to have me committed and/or dewormed.

5. When I get really physically down, like achey and tired and hungry, it reveals to me what I really give a shit about. Music and TV especially. Don't waste my time if you suck dude, and no, I'm not going to try and like you because all these other people like you. If you don't hook me in a short minute, f you. And conversations. If I've had even half a conversation in non-working hours with you in the last three weeks, you're special. You're gold dude. I haven't cooked a SINGLE THING. Carrots. I want roasted carrots.

6. I am relatively sad about all the things I've missed, the Burning River Festival, and the Assumption, and basically all the reasons Cleveland gives you to get wasted outside with strangers. But I did (just now!) get an email from Cedar Lee telling me I'd won tickets to HumpDay next Thursday. And September is always good to me generally speaking. September is the kind of month that says "wait, remember to enjoy yourself, be sated and calm." So yay, Bridget's back in the world of natural daylight!