Massive Photo Overload

The rest of the pictures can be found here.

Here's how our New Years trip started... in a horrible non-drivable winter storm.

Which then brightened up considerably by the time we got to Maryland.

Here's the view from our hotel room. That building in the front right is the aquarium.

And another view, cause we literally spent all our time in the room taking pictures of the view. A bunch of people had booked the hotel just to watch the fireworks over the harbor, and they were really mad when the windstorm cancelled them. I could hear the old guy next door swearing like crazy at the concierge on the phone. Luckily, we had no plans to sit in our hotel room sedately.

A few of my favorite pictures from the aquarium...

I didn't take any pictures at Wu Tang, cause I didn't know if I could bring my camera into the venue, and it turned out i could have, but honestly I was so wasted, I would have dropped it or lost it or traded it for drugs or something. So it's a good thing. We're in the front row by the way



The next morning we drove around Baltimore, and ended up in the ghetto, since ALL of Baltimore is the ghetto and "Charm City" is like the most ironic nickname ever for it. Here is the Charm City rape/sniper/jumper tower.

Next S. drove me to West Virginia to play the slots. We stayed at a hotel owned by Cinnabon.

Which makes sense, since Newell WV is also a hellmouth.

And finally the giant starlight octopus that gave me a bunch of money in exchange for my future Social Security payments.

HAPPY WU YEAR

Well, my laptop is officially dead, so no pictures yet, because my cords at my house, a place I have not been in a week and at this point have started to think of as a happy fantasy I dreamed about. Possibly at the same time I dreamed I was chewing a car and woke up chewing S.'s back. That did happen this week. Also:

- we listened to every classic rock station from here to Maryland. Because our options were classic rock, country, or bible passages.
- we survived gale force winds (they actually cancelled the Baltimore harbor fireworks, the wind was so bad)
- we survived the Polar Express 4d experience at the Baltimore aquarium (only one kid cried).
- we spent the first fifteen minutes in our hotel room taking pictures of the view
- I got so drunk on free liquor at Sonar that apparently my jeans picked up a vomit smell and I didn't notice. Also I made friends with half of the bouncers and the coat check girl. And some girl with a leopard print tattoo decided I was her new best friend, and screamed every time she saw me. I'm apparently instantly charismatic.
- Wu Tang took an hour to come on after they were announced. When they did finally come on, they were followed by three very bored looking not very hot girls who just stood on stage texting the whole show.
- One of the guys up on stage with them (don't know his name) was outside the show previously, and S. spotted him hawking tickets.
- Wu Tang Clan ain't nothing to fuck with.
- Method Man took a serious dislike towards S., and proceeded to scream unintelligible things at him from the stage. This is after Method decided to try crowd surfing and got promptly dropped on the floor. But not by us, much to the right of us. Maybe he though S. was his agent, and he was pissed off about that failed sitcom still? Edit: looking for some youtube footage of that night, I found three other videos featuring Method Man failing at stage diving. You think he would just give up at this point?
- Oh, Rza is hot. And Ghostface had this awesome letter jacket with Ghost across the back of it in sequins.
- New Years Day we woke up and I promptly had a hangover/blood sugar breakdown, and cried until we found me some crabcakes.
- I saw Rocky for the first time.
- Then he snuck me into West Virginia, to the casino, and I won 377 on the first slot machine I sat down to. I actually won another 250 later on the same machine, but S. was in the poker room, so I blew it all on the same machine, convinced it would pay out for me again. However I smartly gave the 300 to S. for safekeeping, so I still managed to pay for my entire trip. I say that like I did something for it, ha! There were lots of old people there eating giant waffle ice cream cones and blowing hundreds and hundreds on the 2 cent slots.
- We saw the World's Largest Teacup.
- We crossed the Bridge to Hell, into E. Liverpool Ohio, where we then saw a giant cross outlined in red Christmas lights on a hillside.

So yeah, Happy New Year! Mine was everything I wanted it to be, and my bloodstream is still, at least, 50% pineapple and vodka. I would go home now, where my poor kitty is still waiting for me, but S. took off for an appointment with my car keys still in his glove box. So I'm just gonna sit here and watch Bravo and drink hot chocolate till my eyeballs swim. The End.

The brighter the lights, the more I want them in black and white

My Little Attic Tree


I don't have much to say today. I'm done with Christmas, and getting everything ready for New Years. I've avoided reading anything about resolutions or plans for 2009, because there's no reason to bring down my self-esteem, no matter how temporary the effect is. NYE is my favorite holiday, because it's a time for having a really good uninhibited spectacularly silly good time. But in order to achieve that zen like state of awesomeness, preparations must be made, both physical and emotional. First, take the time off from work. Spend money like you're proposing to someone. In a way you are, you're seducing the new year into spending the night, maybe calling you the next day, maybe having your babies. Second, do not think about what you should be doing to yourself for the next 12 months. Instead, focus on what you'd like to be doing to yourself right now, and only for the next 24 hours. Reward yourself for surviving the past year and all the incompetence that came with it.

So I'm off work, and I'm going to Baltimore to get nasty drunk at a Wu Tang concert. I will send you pics, maybe. In the meantime, have these from my holidays...

You know how some girls take pictures of all their friends every time they go out? Well, I now find myself taking pictures of all the inanimate objects and scenes I want to remember.

Beggar.

Polish people love bread for every holiday. We stock up on carbs in the winter for hibernation.

The Best Fruitcake In the World, Monk Fruitcake.

Eggnog ice cream on apple pie is very very good. Especially because eggnog ice cream tastes like rice pudding, so it's like two major desserts in one!

This is probably an iconic picture of Dad. Because of the slippers, not the TV.

And Mom makes the pierogis. Lots and lots of pierogis. She also complains when I take normal pictures of her, so she gets a blurry action shot.

That is not my house by the way. That is the Magical Castle of Christmas Spirit that appeared on my street sometime shortly after Thanksgiving.

And the neighborhood children have been mysteriously disappearing. But the neighborhood nutcracker and stuffed polar bear population seems to have skyrocketed.