Saturday, April 21, 2012

Me and The Car

Tonight I had to drive my sister's car home and leave her on the couch at the party. She said it was absolutely impossible for her to get up. She's passed out. I go looking for her keys, which she says are in her bag, only I don't know what her bag looks like or where she left it. I find a set of keys, and ask her on my way out if they are hers, she says sure. I go out to the car. It's rainy and cold. I want to sit in the car and let it warm up and play on my phone. I can't get the door open, but one of the other doors is left unlocked and I get in. I'm not even entirely sure this is her car, because I've only ever been in her car once before, and I wasn't paying attention. The backseat is down, which I think is from putting Myle's bike in there, so I'm *pretty sure*. But now the key won't start the car, like, it doesn't fit. It is a square in a round peg. I try it for a while. I try stepping on things, and pulling them. So I head back in. She's sitting up now. "Those aren't my keys" and she goes to find them for me. I go back out into the rain. I enjoy the walk much more this second time, it seems warmer and the streetlights have solidified.

I get in, this time everything works. I start to drive, Her dashboard lights are very dim and I start to freak out thinking maybe I didn't turn her lights on properly. I pull over next to Happy Dog and check them, plus figure out how to roll down the window. I sit for a few minutes on my phone solely so it looks like I pulled over to check my phone, and not because I'm completely insecure about what I'm doing. I hate driving other people's cars, I'm particular about knowing my own machine. But everything's fine, I'm fine, I get back to my house. I remember to go to Walgreens to buy...feminine products and cat food. I didn't plan that, this sort of stuff just happens. My cycle and the cat food cycle are synced. There's a very cute guy walking to his car as I pull into the space. I turn everything off and then I can't figure out how to get the seatbelt off. I swear to god, I knew there was a button somewhere, but where I thought it would be, I pressed as hard as I could and nothing. I wait for this guy next to me to pull away, but he doesn't he's just sitting there in his car, his lights on. I realize he is probably also having a weird drive home. Finally he goes away, and I drive off sans anything, get home, park in the driveway. The seatbelt comes off just fine. Of course it does. It's a power play.

This is about how if you make eye contact and stare down dogs to establish dominance, then her car and I had a operational dominance stare down. It smelled my fear. But actually in its oil soaked engine it's a good car, so once I learned to give my commands with authority, we figured it out pretty quickly.

Tonight was a really great show. Carey was brilliant and geez something else. I really wish I could stop listening to this Gotye song. It's just so fucking calming, like a blow dart is stuck under my ear. Anyway cars, why do I love them so much? I wish you could major in auto emotional psychology. I wish my glasses looked better on my face. I wish I had a dog. I wish I had the rest of the day to sit around and read Battle Royale and it would just rain all day and then tomorrow someone would take me to see Cabin in the Woods and not laugh too hard at me when I freak out.

1 comment:

  1. OMG, LOVE Gotya song... Especially Bastian Van Sheild remix! Great tune to drive or party to!


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