Wednesday, February 29, 2012

The Facts of Davy Jones

Fact: Davy Jones is the grim squid faced tentacled Keeper of Drowned Souls at the bottom of the Ocean.
Fact: Davy Jones is a pop star who just died.
Fact: David Bowie also used to be Davy Jones, but changed his name.
Query: Why did Bowie change his last name?
Fact: When one Davy Jones dies, his soul is sent to become the Gatekeeper of Oceanic Purgatory, and another is born to take his place. Documented.
Conclusion: all Davy Jones are Mermen.
Fact: David Bowie is still alive and now the position of Davy Jones Ferryman for the Doomed is filled.
Observation: David Bowie seems to have known what he was doing. All that black magic he's been studying since the 80s really paid off.
Conclusion: David Bowie is the Little Mermaid.
Fact: Snooki announced she was pregnant today, the same day Davy Jones died.
Fact: Snooki is famous for living on the shore.
Conclusion: Snooki is carrying the new Davy Jones.


Who wants to fuck the Editors?