Fridays Questions Hear the Wind Howling and the Cats Fighting and All the Coffee in the Universe Brewing

So before we even get started on questions, let me share with you the very best thing on the internet this morning, from http://lab.andre-michelle.com/tonematrix
It's the online equivalent of wind chimes.

This week has been full of stuff, a group dinner in Amish country with pies and horses, necklaces from Spain, Revolution and the subsequent bar discussions that happen in other countries because of it, and finally but most importantly Babies. Little Baby is off her breathing tube, which is amazing, that a 2 pound little person can function like that on their own so quickly, and it sort of makes you realize how lame you are for ever thinking you can't do anything.

All I know is that to me
You look like you're lots of fun
Open up your loving arms
Watch out here I come



Etiquette question: what is the best way to tell my friend WITHOUT PISSING HER OFF that she is freaking out way too much about her wedding and above all, I don't care what she does. And I would like to be involved as little as possible in her crazy plans.

There is no way. You are going to piss her off. There are things that happen in people's lives, weddings and births and deaths, where really you just have to go along with what they want.

Which is why you should be careful about who you let become a close enough friend that she would involve you in her wedding. Because you are going to go through something like this with every close friend you have at some point. So if you don't really love them enough to put up with the craziness, you probably should have been keeping her at arms length the whole time.

But before you go disowning half your friends (though seriously, not a bad idea), how about taking her out for drinks, giving her a vicodin, and talking to her about it? After the vicodin kicks in. Her craziness is coming from stress and fear, not about the wedding, but about her future. Above all, when you broach the subject, keep yourself out of it. Express your concern for what she's putting herself through. That way, even if you get nowhere, you don't get labeled the unsupporting bitch. That's how all the good cons work anyway.



I defriended an ex-fling on FB and he texted me today to ask if I was "okay." I have no interest in being friends with him and am in a relationship anyway. Should I reply or ignore him? I feel bad about hurting his feelings but I don't think he gets it.

He would probably "get it" if you told him.

Why do people refuse to confront people on things like this? We all know logically it's better to make issues like this clear to someone right away, that even if it hurts their feelings, it's better that they not stay confused and you not be vague. But every time a situation occurs, even one like this where you don't want this person in your life, we agonize over our actions. We're not agonizing over their feelings, only our own. We're just being selfish and avoiding confrontation because it makes us uncomfortable. Just man up and tell the guy you don't want to be friends. He'll never contact you again, and if he does, then you can feel completely guilt free in talking shit about him to your friends. I mean, I'm with you sort of, you would have thought he would get it when you defriended him. But he may also just be worried about your feelings, and thinking he somehow hurt you. No, I know, I don't think so either. But you should try to be generous to people until they prove you wrong.


Why do eggs turn sort of greenish when you cook them in the microwave?

Do they? I would try this out, but I only have one egg left and I'm not wasting it in a microwave. Who cooks eggs in a microwave? I mean, I guess if you don't have a stove. But if you do, fucking go wash a pan and cook that properly. That's something an animal produced from it's body, give it a little respect.

Other things you should not cook in microwaves:
steaks
hot chocolate
macaroni and cheese
tuna melts

If you can't be bothered to turn on your stove, maybe you don't deserve to eat it. Speaking as someone who has descended to the very depths of microwave laziness, I know this to be true.



What are your favorite types of questions to be asked on the interwebs? How about in person?

I like to be asked things that have nothing to do with me or you, because those details will come out in the answers anyway, but instead about things that exist outside our emotional lives. Subjects that make you have to think about the rest of the world. Asking questions like that are the nicest thing you can do for another person.



What is the best way to exact revenge on a shitty landlord?

Get cats. Lots of them. Old cats.
This is a double edged sword though.
Maybe start shaving your cats in the bathtub without the drain catcher in?

Or, hey, crazy idea, you could move and stop giving him money.



Regarding Egypt and Tunisia, is democracy really worth the struggle and bloodshed of revolution? What is the point having a right to vote when the political system is inevitably hijacked by those with money/power?

I'm very young, you know. I'm only a few decades old, and when I'm even decades older, I'll still be too young to tell you the point of bloodshed. But one thing I think, one thing important to revolutions, is that its in the details. It happens instance by instance, and even though revolutions may look the same, they are individual creations, specific to their time and their country. As an outsider, someone not a citizen in that place who hasn't had to live there in that culture and experience that corner of the universe, how can we possibly understand what's worth the bloodshed or not? Sure, you can make logical arguments for it or against it. But you're not feeling it. You're never going to feel the want or the desperation or the anger or the fear, not the way those people do.

So I find it impossible to judge the people in the streets.
But I feel totally okay judging the governments, and the single men or women responsible for the rule of law.

A revolution is like a very big vote. Its a group of people discovering they don't have to act alone, that the concept of mass has value. It is, objectively speaking, a work of art every time. And democracy, in every one of its flawed and inevitably corrupted incarnations, is at least keeping some small part of that spirit alive. So I find that beautiful, even when I read election results and feel useless and despairing.

The root of the issue is not single people in power, it's that when you come right down to it, people are not very nice and they are selfish, and if you have ideals of any sort, you are going to find them thwarted when you try to make the masses understand them.

So really, the only one to get your ideal society is fascism. Of course, the society I would design would be perfect. For me. And your society would be perfect. For you.

I don't know, perhaps the point is to not look too big, to look at small things one by one, and not lose hope in small things that you want, and that's the real way things get accomplished, by not allowing ourselves to be overwhelmed by the reality of the macrocosm. Work for what it is you want here and now and only in this moment, because this is the moment you own. The world exists sure, and some singular miraculous individuals get lucky enough to affect it on a large level, but every single one of them started out working for their own moment, in their small life and small place. Which is sort of like voting too. Voting is just choosing. It doesn't need to be confined to an election.

And after all, in the end, at least we aren't serfs any more. And much as it may sound witty to talk about how presidents are just other names for monarchs, that really isn't the case. So that's important. As long as the people in power can't stay there forever, things will change in some way. Having term limits is the most important contribution of democracy. The revolution in Egypt is because of lack of change, and not the way we complain about with no change in intentions, but actual frozen government and frozen power. Imagine if Bush had been president for 30 years. You know, your entire lifetime? I think I'll talk more about it tomorrow.

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