You are not Dick Goddard and I'm going to stop asking you to be

One of the most consistent things about living in Cleveland is that everyone is constantly talking about the Weather. And of course everyone always mentions how much the Weather changes, how finicky it is, what's it going to do next time?! The Weather is more popular than Project Runway.

Yesterday was supposed to be some hellish insane global warming type blizzard. The local news had me all keyed up even before I woke up. I was afraid to go to work. When I got to work, the constant question was "what's it like outside" anytime someone came into their shift. Never mind that I work in a GLASS building, and we can see outside from anywhere on the floor. Or that the highway is RIGHT THERE, so we can see how traffic is moving.

The best part is how biased everyone is. The first person told me it was "AWFUL". The next person to come in said "It's really coming down!" Mary came in at 3pm, and told me "It's not so bad." Terrance didn't even come in because he was stuck in traffic. At this point I'm leaving in an hour and I'm picturing myself stuck on 90 in whiteout conditions for three hours. Finally, right before I leave, Dave tells me that it's freezing rain and everything is super icy now. GREAT.

I got out of the building, and I drove home fine. It wasn't even snowing. There was not very much accumulation. It wasn't icy at all.

This brings me to my point. I'm no longer asking other people what it looks like outside. I am no longer reading the news predictions. I am ONLY going to look at radar pictures myself and draw my own conclusions. This I SWEAR. I will be the Clevelander who never talks about our vaulted idol, WEATHER. If I get struck down by lightning, at least I won't see it coming.

PS I realized this morning that this means I will no longer have anything to talk about with co-workers. So I think I'll replace our Weather Weekend chatter with obtuse and uniformly insensitive jokes about all the candidates.