Corporate thoughts

True, I have only been in the corporate world two years. No one would say that I've paid my dues. I haven't even paid the interest on my dues. I don't even know what my dues are, what the fuck does that mean? No club wants me, except maybe the old man sweater club.

Anyway, corporate life has convinced me that I need a job where I am under no obligation to convince anyone of anything. No selling. No tracking co-workers performance or getting them to participate in contests. No selling myself to every junior manager I meet. No convincing customers they should pay 500 dollars a month for insurance they will never use.

There have to be jobs like this that pay as much as my measly no degree position. But if I work in a factory, I'll lose an extremity. And if I move to the country and work on a farm, it's smelly and constantly under threat of attack from rats.

Everyone's "career" is under attack these days, but in the same way that my mildly retarded brain is incapable of doing math and remembering card games, I am also unable to visualize futures. This has been brought to me as a reason for every failure in my life - no degree, no savings, no weight loss. Can't visualize the future, have no five year ten year twenty year plan. But you know what it also does for me? It keeps me young and relatively stress free. There are always some stresses - no money, no degree, no weight loss. HOWEVER I am not stressed about succeeding! Not stressed about buying a house! Not stressed about losing my job! Not stressed about growing old and getting diabetes like every other fat old person in America!

This leaves me plenty of room in my head to think about how the labels "Republican" and "Democrat" are like Transformers names. Say that last one a few times, slowly. DEM-O-CRATS
RE-PUB-LI-CANS

Who made these names up? They are too comic bookie, too Worlds of Warcraft to be taken seriously. It's like after the Civil War, the guys were just milling around, missing the competition and boyish fun of the battlefield, and they needed some sort of RPG to take their mind off things like Europe and black people. So somebody is all like, "Hey, I'm forming a club, we're the Democrats! It's like Aristocrats, but catchy!". And then the other guys who weren't invited were all like, "fuck you, you pansy intellectual snobs. We're the Republicans! Log Cabins and Hard Cider!"

Here is a list of all the political parties in Albania that have representation in parliament and do not have the word Democrat or Republican in them:

• Environmentalist Agrarian Party (Partia Agrare Ambientaliste)
  
• Movement for Solidarity -
  
• Socialist Movement for Integration (Lëvizja Socialiste për Intigrim)
  
• Socialist Party of Albania (Partia Socialiste e Shqipërisë)
  
• Unity for Human Rights Party (Partia Bashkimi për të Drejtat e Njeriut)
  

I vote we steal some of these. Albania won't miss them. I don't even really believe they have a parliament. They probably just get together once a year and sample the pickled beet harvest.
I am partial to the third one, the Socialist Movement for Integration. Integration into what? Who cares? Why do you need to know? Have a curry. Chill. The Integration will be over before you know it.