Bridget Callahan is Your Best Friend

I steal ideas for these posts from emails to friends, and they never read this because its all old metaphors....

Old metaphor: Like Zeus, a child is trying to be born from my forehead. Unfortunately it doesn't quite seem to be strong enough, and there don't seem to be any greek gods around willing to split open my skull. But the doctors are going to disembowel some cats tomorrow and see what the intestines say about it.

My head is in so much pain, I want to take a wedge to it myself. I spend my days after work trying like hell to pass out as quickly as I can. This isn't helping my Nanowrimo goal. The sense of failure there isn't helping my headache. Its a vicious cycle.

Also particularly vicious? According to a news story Sean read, our combined household income is in the upper 20% of the country. Considering the number of adverse action letters I get every time I go shopping for insurance, I find this a terrifying and strangely wonderful fact. And depressing as hell. Which isn't helping my headache.

DO NOT WATCH 2 GIRLS AND A CUP. I haven't seen it myself, I'm sure its not that bad, we all know and love Gigi Allen, so really how much worse could it get? HOWEVER, on pure principle, do not participate in this unseemly act of mass gross out. Lets all pretend we're the new Editor In Chief of the Cleveland Plain Dealer, and only put happy news on the front page because that's what the numbers told us we should. Remember people, we don't like bad news.
I'm sure if I watched it, it would not help my headache. But not watching it is also not helping my headache.

THIS IS SO BEYOND A HEADACHE, HEADEARTHQUAKE HEADCATASTROPHE HEADGENOCIDE are more accurate terms for it.

Finally, I think its sad that we live in a world where a Hindu goddess is actually born and then we cut her arms and legs off.