Bridget Callahan is Your Best Friend

I leave early this morning to drive to Kent and pick up a transcript from 8 years ago. It seems like so much effort for such a paltry stupid thing. Also I had to pay a 13 dollar library fine to get access to it. Which is better than the 100 dollars I owe Cuyahoga. You would think I would be super awesome library girl, considering that books are my only link to sanity in an otherwise cubicled world. But libraries and I are in fact mortal enemies. They never have anything I want to read, their new release tables are full of James Patterson and romances, and they want me to bring things back on time. I, in turn, find the three books worth having in the branch, read them, and promptly forget I have them. Maybe mortal enemies is the wrong terminology. Its more like an interdependent eco-system. After all, if it weren't for people like me, they might have decent stuff. And if people like me had cars for most of their adult lives, they might have brought stuff back on time. And if the city and state didn't take all my monies in taxes to support James Patterson propaganda machines, then I might have had a car and returned those four dvds. To Lakewood. Which I lived a block away from.

With 28 fast approaching, my body has decided to completely break down on me in the last month. Migraines every day. Horrible new allergies. Heartburn. Bad ankles. All the strength I had in my legs from carrying around this massive body has suddenly and unexplainabley (not a word) left. My eyes goo every morning. My face breaks out.

Two yorkshire terriers moved in next door, and they barked all morning. It doesn't bother me necessarily, but I wonder how the cat feels.

Sean got a certified letter from the IRS and it was a letter telling us they owed him money. How cruel is it to send that out certified? A regular, easily left in our mailbox, letter would have sufficed guys.

You know, I have resisted getting fancy phones and even an ipod for so freaking long, I thought I was getting old. But the iphone makes me pant. God machine indeed. Excess exceeded.

And finally, I will study Judd Apatow's career and copy it. I think the main secret is doing a lot of lines with Adam Sandler. Also having morals of some sort.