Wednesday, March 14, 2012


My thoughts today about whether I should try going vegetarian for a little bit or not:

I have to go to the grocery store and this time I have to figure out what I'm getting before I go.
Meat is expensive.
My gym membership came out today, leaving my budget for the next week 40 dollars less than I thought, which is going to suck.
Obviously I should just not go out for the next week and I should go to the gym every night anyway, except for the show Tuesday which is already paid for.
So I just won't drink. I liked it when I wasn't drinking in January, why did I stop that? Oh yeah, cause I started seeing boys again.
Being healthy and being single is totally impossible. Unless I start running marathons.
Fuck marathons, seriously.
I need to get my bike fixed.
Bike boys are so annoyingly into not doing things that aren't biking.
I also liked not eating bread. 
Maybe I'll just buy a bunch of spinach and eat only that for the next week. I wonder if I could actually do that. Raw spinach.
It's so nice out. I bet since it never froze over, the lake will get warm really quickly.
(quick zone out, thinking about being at the lake, with the warm sand and the cold water and the far away horizon and the awesome skyline and sunlight oh god hurry the fuck up)
There was that thing someone put on facebook about people who eat lots of red meat dying 18% faster than other people. I think, I didn't actually read it, just the byline.
Shit, I get so grumpy without meat though.
I mean actually, I get grumpy without alcohol or other ways to get fucked up.
Wait, that's not really true. I get grumpy without sugar.
 I just get less creative without getting fucked up. 
I fucking hate Kerouac. This is his fault. That movie looks awful. None of them look assholish enough. Kristen Stewart is the worst. Why does Carey like her? She looks like a puritan, all tight lipped. I refuse to believe there is any moisture in her at all, let alone sex moisture.
Giving up sugar is the worst, maybe I could just get a bunch of pineapple and spinach, that's sugar.
You know, cows and things like that only eat plants, but they get all fat and slow. So why do we think herbivores are so healthy?
No, I mean, really they get fat cause of all the corn. 
And we don't eat a lot of predators. Predators eat only meat and we don't eat predators, we are predators and therefore we eat herbivores. If eating a lot of meat was good for you, we would eat more predators.
Herbivores are so slow and stupid though, they're not smart. If I act like a herbivore, maybe it will make me slow and stupid too. Maybe my meat oriented predator body chemistry will lose it's edge. 
Ugh, maybe it will make me nice.
Right, cause I'm so edgy now. 
Fucking corn is the root of all evil. Discovering the Western Hemisphere was just bad for everyone all around wasn't it?
Okay, so if I'm going to try this all again, I should try to quit smoking again right?
Seriously, quitting drinking and bread and eating nothing but spinach and pineapple totally appeals to me, until you tell me to quit smoking. 
Nina hates this Spoon song.
I can't believe it's still light out.
Being a predator is hard. 
Also chicken and tuna are so gross. 
Seeing those worms in that swordfish totally turned me off eating anything from the ocean. 
And birds are like rape monsters. Rape monsters who stay warm in their own shit.
No wonder we are predators,  fish and birds and cows and deer are so stupid and filthy.
At least predators know how to clean themselves.
I wonder if I could go vegan, since all this stuff disgusts me anyway. It's like, I'm thinking about cheese and cheese is totally gross, when I think about, only I just never do. Also I know this gross out will go away. I wish my body would just decide for real what grosses it out and stick with it. Like, right now, anything I could put in my mouth right now sounds like the worst thing ever. I wish I could freeze this moment right here, and just starve away.
Putting stuff in your body is gross. 
I don't want to be a herbivore or a predator, I want to be a rock, can't I just crystallize myself?
The ultimate cheap diet - crystallization.
Maybe the ultimate evolution of the predator superiority complex is veganism, because those filthy stupid beasts aren't worthy enough to be ingested by us. 
I bet you could totally sell veganism as a lifestyle/religion that way. Instead of this love bullshit. 
I mean, we already love predators more inherently, that's why we prefer cats and dogs and babies as pets.
Look how quickly people stopped caring about keeping horses around once we didn't need them anymore.
And if we loved cows so much, we would all keep one right? 
Pigs are different though, pigs are just opportunists, they'll eat meat. 
Maybe that's why pork has always been so unsettling.
I seriously can't believe they haven't invented a pill to fix all this yet.


  1. Some people really don't function optimally without at least some meat. (I am not one of those people, which is a good thing, because I don't think I could successfully eat it again. Though my problems with eating other animals have more to do with the modern farming practices than they do with simple black & white notions of right or wrong, in that way. A little bit of that, but in an obviously hypocritical and back & forth way, because I wear leather shoes, after all.)

    You maybe shouldn't kick sugar and alcohol completely at the same time, though. If you decide to do either, I mean. At least, everyone I know who has ever given up drinking entirely said that it made them crave sugar like they never had -- so if you give up both at once, you might end up way extra mega cranky and unpleasant. Though, if you do them separately, then the stress of one might just drive you back to the other each time, so what do I know. At least, if you give up one and notice that your consumption of the other has dramatically increased, that is possibly why, because it seems to be a common-ish thing. The more you know, and all that kind of shit.

  2. I feel like it would be easier to not drink than not eat any sugar at all. I should probably just say "no processed sugar", cause going without fruit seems counter-intuitive.

  3. Meat is gross - that pic makes me nauseous - and heavy. It sits in your gut and rots. If you cut it from your diet then go back, you will feel this. The study focussed on processed meats: hot dogs, mc-burgers etc and carefully did not mention 'regular' red meat, so you can draw your own conclusions.

    Processed sugar is a legal drug. So is alcohol. Both are carbohydrates, and refined carbs are addictive. White flour - baked goods - goes in there too. Alcoholics who quit drinking crave sugar cuz their bodies are used to high carbohydrates; this is why AA meetings serve doughnuts.

    Quitting all those things is healthy, and once you detox from them, you feel a lot clear- and cleaner. But detoxing is like cleaning out the back of your fridge after ignoring it since last summer. Gross, nasty, not likely to put you in a good mood til its done. So doing it in steps is better if you need to be around people.

    Spinach and pineapple actually sounds good :-9 Both are acidic, which might be what your body needs to clean things out, but wouldn't be a good long-term choice. Once you've flushed some of the toxins out tho, you can bring other items back in and see what works for you. Good luck!

  4. Shit, please don't remind me I need to clean out my fridge too.


  6. kristen stewart was born made of SAND.

  7. I am entertained and will read more now, please. (some might say I am easiy entertained though)

    I like meat, red meat. I'm of the "enjoy life while you're alive" kind of person and often envision vegans who plan to give p meat and live a long life getting hit by a bus...never having had a good steak. Such a tragedy.

    I'm not going to espouse stopping smoking for the myriad of health benefits, because your addiction will just move to lollipops. I will say that you would do well to calculate how much money it costs you over a week or a month or a year. A friend of one realized he could have a MUCH nicer car if he stopped smoking. Do the math on it and you'll be surprised. Plus with all the new good health, the meat won't seem so bad.


  8. I want to be a rock, can't I just crystallize myself?
    The ultimate cheap diet - crystallization.......
    .......that's why we prefer cats and dogs and babies as pets.

    You mentioned somewhere before that you get migraines? Cutting back on the alcohol and sugar , to small doses ( if you can do that ; if you don't quit entirely) could help with that, as they're controlled , in part, by blood sugar level. Reducing the number,duration, and intensity, of those hammer-pounding, nauseous, bouts of misery , might be added incentive.
    Once I figured out that that was what was happening, and how it worked, and to treat myself (almost) like a diabetic, I suffered a lot less. ( + I had the original, side-effect-less medication growing right outside.)
    If you're adding sugar to anything, because you MUST have sweetness, give agave syrup a try . It's very sweet, so you don't need much, and it releases into the body slowly, to the point that diabetics can usually handle it .

  9. At the next PTA meeting I'm going to try opening with "being a predator is hard" and see where it goes.
    Don't ever give up sugar. I tried once and I felt like someone used a Dyson to get ahold of my eyeballs to suck them slowly out of my skull.

  10. I haven't been able to update any new posts lately cause my laptop is broken, so it's weird to me that this has been the one up at the top of the page for the last week. It's such a gross picture. But you know what, it IS hard being a predator, and I am TOTALLY on the predators side. And your PTA group should KNOW that.

  11. This is a great posting I have read. I like your article.

  12. If it helps at all, a pound of Ground Turkey is $2.50 at Marc's. It satisfies as meat in a lot of dishes (like spaghetti), and is pretty lean, too.

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