
You can purchase it here. You can then also be my best friend for the rest of my life, because I will have to keep you around when you are super old and wrinkly, since you will obviously be the best retiree ever. And at this late stage in my life, I'm really looking to build up a stable of the wackiest and wildest elderly cohorts I can find, who will do really wacky old people things with me, like wear Chanel fanny packs and be really rich. (that last part is your job. Since you're the one who spent 800 on a fanny pack when you were 30)
PS This fanny pack is more than my rent. So if you were really my best friend, you would just pay my rent for a month. But then I wouldn't respect you. Cause this fanny pack may be many unexplainable things, but it demands respect.