Days of Significance

That's Carrie's Easter Gin Martini. She swears it goes well with foil wrapped chocolate.

Easter is magical even to us hard souled ne'er-do-wells because it is a combination of all things important to little infantile hearts: Tragic Mythical Death at the hands of Villains, Flowers, Fancy Chocolate in Shapes you can only get once a year, and Fuzzy Baby Animals. Any holiday with this combination is guaranteed to be a success.


Possible New Holiday Ideas: Martin Luther King Day, with black and white chain shaped candies, lots of magnolias, baby doves.


Anne Boleyn Day: red roses, hard candies in the shape of royal jewels (we could wear them!), cocker spaniel puppies.


Ghandi Day: Lotus blossoms, cow shaped caramels, peacocks and calves.

John Lennon Day: Dandelions, pink colored sugar elephants and peanut butter filled globes, kittens.

Chico Mendes Day: Orchids, cinnamon and chili spiced Brazil shaped chocolates, baby parrots. Cause adult parrots are sort of scary.


Euripides Day: peonies, almond and pistachio wafers shaped like dogs, baby lambs and goats.


Tsar Nicholas II Day: Chamomiles and daisies, white chocolate revolvers and horses, bear cubs.

Magic Apple Compote

Easter this year was also my dad's birthday. Coincidence? My family decided to spend Sunday birdwatching in Maumee, which I declined. Instead I holed up in their kitchen to cook dinner. A kitchen with a working stove! With a variety of pots and pans! With more than one burner that works!

Dinner was a pork roast, and goat cheese scalloped potatoes. I was going to make some stewed apples to have with the pork, but as I scanned my parents Fridge of Endless Condiments, I got a little excited. And thus the Magic Apple Compote was born.

It all turned out well, everyone was happy. Plowing through the leftovers I brought him home, S. declared the apples to be "the best thing you've ever made." I'm inclined to agree. This stuff is perfect for pork or chicken. It would be great as a breakfast side, or in a turnover with bacon, or just to mix into your oatmeal. I'm currently trying to ponder out converting it to cookies. I will then feed those cookies to my computer, which will magically become SkyNet, and also give me the formula for generating a combustion suppression field. I will use this new technology to render all governments incapable of military action (also at the same time halting global warming), and the world will enter a new era of peace and health. Also known as the Stone Age. SkyNet will of course try to stop me, however I will jam apple compote into it's wiring (no pun intended), rendering it harmless. Then a small community of farmers will use it's components to make a mural on the side of their barn. This compote can do it all!



Magic Apple Compote

- 5 apples, peeled and chopped small
- 1 cup orange juice
- half cup honey mustard
- 2/3 stick butter
- 1/2 cup sugar
- 1 tbsp ginger
- 2 tsp salt
- 2 tsp garlic (or more to taste)

Place the apples into a small stew pot with a lid. Add the rest of the ingredients. Simmer covered on low heat for 2 hours. Check it occasionally to see if you should add some water. I added about half a cup halfway through.