Why I don't eat seafood....

First, watch this video....then we can talk.



Okay, so I've been showing this video to everyone I know for the past three days. YouTube is now synonymous in my head with giant centipedes. I know the audio is low, but did you hear the part where he said it was 13 inches long?

Yes, it is very cool.

However, do you know what lobsters are? They are giant centipedes. That crawl on the ocean floor and eat detritus. My boyfriend watched this with me and remarked that all he needed was some drawn butter.

I don't even know what drawn butter is, nor do I want to speculate. It sounds like the sort of thing people considered complicated, but can actually be made in the microwave.

So now, when I think lobster? I think of lobsters eating bats out of mid-air. Take a moment and picture that. Now picture it in an underwater cave. With jellyfish. It's a good mental association, since lobster is fucking expensive. The only people I know who pay that much money for bugs are the Germans.


Actually, the jellyfish would probably win. Lobsters aren't good for shit. And neither are giant centipedes. The End.