The Bridge Project

People in Cleveland are always trying to create festivals, right? We may be a hardened artery city of pierogi eaters, but god damn if they aren't always trying to get some culture down our gullets. Every single street in Lakewood and Cleveland Heights has their own arts festival. There are beer festivals, food festivals, volleyball festivals, festivals to celebrate environmental disasters. It's impressive, and good, and very commendable.

But whoever came up with the idea to hold an arts festival in the streetcar tunnels under the Detroit Superior bridge, the ABANDONED streetcar tunnels, is a honest to god freaking genius.


So the Ingenuity folks were just sitting around brainstorming, and someone said "hey, why don't we open up this entire tunnel that spans a mile across the river, light it up all cool, and have artists create things and show stuff in all the dark corners? And we'll make it free." Slam dunk guys. You should do this every month next summer.

It was open in the daylight hours too, but I think the best time to see it had to be at night, when everybody was ogling the lights and the music echoing down the girders gave you a soundtrack for being completely tripped out by the views underneath your feet.

Yeah, cause see, there was this long section where you could walk on a grate over the Cuyahoga, and look down on all the little toy buildings. And strangers put their hands on my shoulders to gently guide me out of their way, since I was looking down the entire time, like some sort of stoned 12 yr old.

It makes sense to do this in this space. Clevelanders are bridge people, tunnel people, steel and concrete people. We belong down (up) in places like this, like ducks in water. We've been denied our natural habitat. As you know by now, I feel most comfortable in places like this, that are bigger than me, because up and in are the best directions to have. And it was so much fun to be with other people who were just as impressed as me. It was a big happy Cleveland Glow.

Every little piece of art, like the sitting rooms and the random movies on the wall, shone like little plastic gems.

Walking across the river was like a museum tour. You would be surrounded by people and sound one moment, everyone smiling, and the next moment you were completely alone, in the darkness, with the water and the lights.

And there was a 3d movie! With people in 3d glasses sitting enrapt like a scene from their own movie. And a 6 person bicycle that kept careening randomly down the walkway. And people just sitting around drumming. And kids, and fireworks from the stadium for like forty minutes, and semi trucks hurtling above you making everything shake.





It was a pretty perfect night, and besides my buildings, like the best thing I've done all summer.

More photos from the 2009 Bridge Project can be found here.

The Chicago Tour of Dinosaurs

As one starts the shopping experience at the mouth of the river, one cannot help but be impressed with the sheer selection of dinosaurs available. No where else in the Midwest can you see such a variety, from the creaky old timers to the fast, sleek, and shiny.

A popular feature looked for in dinosaurs today is an ability to mimic their environment. Gone are the days when owners wanted a monster. The Puteulanus Unda Diligo seen above blends into the water and sky, and is particularly good at catching it's own prey, making upkeep that much easier. Also, it fits easily into corners.


Speculum Liberi are quite a common site in larger metropolises, but are not as hassle free as their big brothers. They have a tendency to be egotistical and territorial, and they are not good with small children. If you are going to keep several of them, be sure there is only one male in the herd.


I tend to be old fashioned in my taste, which is why I love these Chalybs Flumen Os. They may not do much during the day, but watch them carefully towards dusk.


Chalybs Compages of Fatum, another nocturnal river frequenter, is a joy to watch, if you have the patience. Here, in a rare daytime sighting, we can see the mother on the look out for predators, while her child plays in the water. Chalybs of all sorts are very maternal.


The grand Mellis certamen of parcus Moestitia mate for life.

A group of quadratus Northmanni feed in the sunlight.



The Ebullio gum Monasteriense is certainly large and imposing, but dinosaurs this old tend to be a little crabby and not very social. They are ideal for the elderly owner, who desires companionship without the hyperness of youth.

A particularly dangerous species, the Stipes Muneris Periculosus will chew on anything it comes across. It lies in wait like a rock, letting the victims climb over it's seemingly uniform facade, until the moment is right. Then a large gaping mouth sucks the food in like a vacuum tube. We were lucky to be able to get so close without startling it.


Finally, my favorite was the Lux lucis quod Viaticus dinosaur. Look at the beauty and grace! And a healthy one like this can live for centuries, making them an excellent investment.

Of course, it's important when keeping beautiful creatures like this in captivity to try and recreate their natural environments as much as possible. The keepers of the Chicago sanctuary make sure to keep the river shores stocked with small snacks and treats, in order to stimulate the minds of their charges and give them some exercise. If you are thinking of setting up your own display, talk to your local commissioner, who will be able to tell you the freshest suppliers.

Other dinosaur pics (otherwise known as the Chicago Architectural Boat Tour, if you want to be a killjoy) can be found here.