On Second Thought

I'd like to propose that this is the quintessential list of things that you should never ever eat together, and also only have eaten for the day, if you would like to remain sane during slumber:

-6 shots of espresso
-1 cucumber margarita with chili salt
-1 pineapple margarita with chili salt
- a plate of chorizo, cheese, onions and peppers
- guacamole
- fried ice cream
- cafe patron with cinnamon orange slices
- coffee with cinnamon
- cigarettes

What will happen if you consume this particular grouping, in this particular order, is that while you may seemingly sleep very well, during the course of that sleep your brain will mutate into a teeming mass of black worms from an alternate evil dimension. A vortex where morality and virtue are signs of weakness and tastiness, and disgusting sounds are broadcast in the air to tune your biological systems to the most despair driven, fearful frequency you can imagine. There are giant squid who determine interest rates, with razor sharp beaks and unnatural ideas about self-worth. Houses with too many well lit, nasty raver boy attics, no haircuts and dirty carpets infested with stems and flea poop. Any and all attempts to accomplish something, like getting out the door, or making out with that guy, horrible ideas on their own, will end in humiliation and/or mutiliation. Your dream self will end up on sitting on that dirty carpet, staring at a tv you know is brainwashing you with murderous intentions, completely silent and hopeless. There will be a pet weasel somewhere in the corner, eating something you can't recognize.

And when you wake up? You will have a version of heartburn that feels more like a part of your larynx has actually burned off and is stuck, chunk like, in your throat. Which is good, because it's actually blocking the tsunami of stomach acid itching to burn out your eyeballs.

Before that though, I had a great time. Also, I found out I love SuperIndustrialLove.

Right now he has prints at Shoparooni for sale as part of their Dick and Jane show, and it's fucking fabulous. You can also buy his cards on the website or at the shop.

The Cask of Amontillado, Reinterpreted.

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I forgot to get the name of the artist who had this installation set up at Shoparooni this past weekend. But whoever you are, I appreciate you.

2009 Shoparooni Easter Munny Show

Last night was the show, and I have to apologize because I don't know any of these artists names. There weren't any identifying placards, just price tags. You can stop by and see these guys at Shoparooni, Cleveland's premier place to buy murderous plastic toys and comic books about dogs that have sixpacks. Here are just a few of my favorites, a few more pics can be found here. If you're an artist that stumbles across this and you want your name attached to yours, please let me know. I aim to identify.

This is my own very little guy. The store was very well lit, so you couldn't see the light well there. But that's okay, he humbly understood and lay low.

Alas, I did not get a good photo of The Sock Eater, but he was my all time favorite there. He's in the jar on the right.











Seriously - intimidatingly good work. The Sock Eater was not for sale, but if it had been, I would have shelled out some cash. Because S. and I realized that if we got that for Marty, we would never have to buy him another present EVER.

I then went to Music Saves intending to buy a Mountain Goats album for my dad, and walking out with 2 MG albums, a Sharon Jones album, a Screaming Trees anthology, a band I got solely because their song titles referenced Wrinkle In Time, and the Jarvis Cocker solo album. I'm sure CB would be proud. My bank account is a little less so.

We stopped by the grocery store to get cooking stuff for today, because I can never remember if Easter is one of those days they close everything. Giant Eagle on 117th, which is usually full of hipsters shopping for Iron Chef dinners was instead full of people with children. I spent too much on bread and apples, a near impossible task, then got home and got drunk. Movie of the night was Hamlet 2, which is AWESOME. You should follow your original instincts and watch it. Tonight. Coogan is amazing. Kangaroo Rat is a genius.